wow has it really been that long?

I did not realize it had been so long since I had posted anything here. After tossing around several possibilities, I have been appointed to Huffman UMC. It is kind of like moving home after college or something, but the team is back together.

VBS at Moody, followed by moving week, followed by VBS at Huffman then working a Walk to Emmaus has me pretty worn out. It has also created a huge pile of stuff on my desk. During WTE, I gave up the disorganization and clutter that keeps me from being effective, so I am confident that I will blog more often.

Of course, since I gave up disorganization, I have managed to misplace my watch. I guess it will take more than tearing off a piece of bread and saying that I want less clutter.

a little change will do you good

Although part of the crossroads question has been answered, there are many questions remaining. I know there are changes ahead for me. I just don't know exactly what those changes will be. So I have been thinking about change.

Today I was reading change your pew change your perspective by Genikwa Williams (http://www..sojo.net/2010/02/25/change-you-pew-change-your-perspective/). First, I thought it would be so cool to show up to church and it be so crowded you couldn't sit in your normal spot. Then I found it interesting that she said that she worshipped God with her whole body, because that goes along with the Praise Party lessons we have been using in our children's ministries. But then I thought about a couple in our church. A couple of weeks ago, I received a text which asked me to give them a message. I did not see them in what I thought was their normal spot during the greeting time. When I got to the pulpit for the pastoral prayer, I saw them on the other side of the church. I later mentioned this to another member, who responded something along the lines of: "Oh they move around from spot to spot so they can pray for each section."

I will miss people like that when I am moved to another church. But being reminded that sometimes we have to move to let God move in us is confirmation that moving is the right thing to do.

So I stand in the crossroads knowing that I will be taking a different road and I wait to see which road it is.

Standing at the Crossroads

I entered the clergy exploration process because I felt like I was supposed to do something more than I had been doing.

I moved on to the candidacy program and prepared for school because I felt I needed more training and education to improve the work I had been doing with youth ministries.

Someone recently observed that it seamed like I was looking for something and someone pointed out an open spot on a ferris wheel and I started going around.

I worked with youth and wanted to do more.

I got "educated" and worked with youth and young adults.

Then someone made some decisions and I was moved off to be an associated pastor.

Then other people made decisions and decided I could be a children's minister. I kept saying I did not think I could be a children's minister. They must have thought I was trying to trick them. The more I protested, the deeper into children's ministry they pushed me.

"I can't swim" I shouted.
"Sure you can." they said. "We will throw you in the deep end and you will have to learn to swim. We will hold your head under the water and you will have to learn to get to the surface."

Just when I thought was going to really drown, I jumped out and found myself at an intersection. I asked friends which way they thought I should go.

None of the people who know me best thought I should jump back in the children's ministry pool.

Funny - none of the people who know me best suggested I jump into youth ministry.

One person seems to think I should just get off the ferris wheel.

(I realize this is a crazy place if I am on a ferris wheel in a pool at an intersection. But this is my story and it feels that crazy right now.)

So I am standing here trying to figure out which way to go.

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

One week ago today we buried my mother. Sherri did an excellent job of remembering and celebrating her life. There was laughter. There were tears. Many friends gathered that morning or had come to visit or call the night before. So many people expressing their love and respect for my mother or for our family.

One month ago we were told my mother's condition was greatly improved. Her labs were within normal range. She would be monitored and have maintenance therapy. So you can imagine the shock when she took a sudden and extreme turn for the worse. Once she took that turn it began a racing downward spiral.

In the two weeks prior to her death, Mother was able to see all of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She also got to see many other family members and friends.

The memories many have shared with us have been comforting. The love her sisters showed in her final days should inspire us all. I post this photo to remind us all of the true love shared for over six decades.

The example of the marriage that my parents set really set a high standard. I do not claim it to be perfect. I imagine they had passed some of the hardest struggles by the time I came along. The years I witnessed were probably the ones after they had established the bonds of coming through difficult times and emerging stronger on the other side. (I do not know of any specific problems, but I cannot imagine that having 3 children in 3 years didn't create a little conflict.) I have often said that I never remarried because it was hard to imagine anyone working hard enough to meet the standard set by my parents' example. (and I had not found anyone who could take care of me as well as my parents have all of these years)

I may keep a copy of this photo to use when I counsel couples before they marry. Are you willing to sit with this person day and night, never leaving their side? Will you hold their hand will they are sick?

When you wonder why I take marriage so seriously that I will not enter into it without much consideration, remember this picture and the love in which I was raised.

And as one friend pointed out - this is a beautiful picture of a true love between two humans. Imagine how much more God loves us.

Love to you all.

many thoughts, but so little time to blog

i must admit that after having another pastor "tattle" to someone about my blog and my comments on a friends blog, i have been hesitant to post my most honest thoughts. this cautiousness, coupled with a busy schedule, has kept me from sharing my thoughts with you.

so why do i have so little time? what is so different in the last year or so that i cannot find time to complete baby blankets i started making? or find time to practice the guitar? how do other people have time to play farmville and farm town and mafia wars and yoville and all the other games on fb when i can barely find the time to update my status and read those of my friends? don't i have the same 24 hours that everyone else has?

in a recent class, we had a pretend wesleyan class meeting. when it came time to confess my sin (an optional part of the experiment), i first confessed that i would have never been allowed to be a part of john wesley's class society because being punctual was a requirement. then i confessed that i am not a good steward of the time with with i have been blessed. so my prayer is that i can be disciplined enough to use my time wisely. i guess you better pray for me too because i should actually be working right now and instead i am posting on my blog.

so i will sign off for now to go try to accomplish something with my time.

I really have a lot to do but feel this must be said

TV, blogs, Facebook, emails, everywhere everyone has something to say about health care reform. Most of the facts have been twisted. It does not really matter. No one is really listening to their opposition. Just a bunch of people yelling at each other - not really communicating. Through Sojourners and Jim Wallis, I signed the following creed which was forwarded to my senator/congressman. I believe that when it was forwarded it indicated that I am a pastor. So of course when the senator and congressman sent their form letter in reply to the church address, they were sent to MR. Donna Godwin. Says a lot doesn't it. Anyway, no matter what side of the debate you may fall, please consider A Christian Creed to Health-Care Reform:

As one of God's children, I believe that protecting the health of each human being is a profoundly important personal and communal responsibility for people of faith.I believe God created each person in the divine image to be spiritually and physically healthy. I feel the pain of sickness and disease in our broken world (Genesis 1:27, Romans 8:22).

I believe life and healing are core tenets of the Christian life. Christ's ministry included physical healing, and we are called to participate in God's new creation as instruments of healing and redemption (Matthew 4:23, Luke 9:1-6; Mark 7:32-35, Acts 10:38). Our nation should strive to ensure all people have access to life-giving treatments and care.

I believe, as taught by the Hebrew prophets and Jesus, that the measure of a society is seen in how it treats the most vulnerable. The current discussion about health-care reform is important for the United States to move toward a more just system of providing care to all people (Isaiah 1:16-17, Jeremiah 7:5-7, Matthew 25:31-45).

I believe that all people have a moral obligation to tell the truth. To serve the common good of our entire nation, all parties debating reform should tell the truth and refrain from distorting facts or using fear-based messaging (Leviticus 19:11; Ephesians 4:14-15, 25; Proverbs 6:16-19).

I believe that Christians should seek to bring health and well-being (shalom) to the society into which God has placed us, for a healthy society benefits all members (Jeremiah 29:7).

I believe in a time when all will live long and healthy lives, from infancy to old age (Isaiah 65:20), and "mourning and crying and pain will be no more" (Revelation 21:4). My heart breaks for my brothers and sisters who watch their loved ones suffer, or who suffer themselves, because they cannot afford a trip to the doctor. I stand with them in their suffering.

I believe health-care reform must rest on a foundation of values that affirm each and every life as a sacred gift from the Creator (Genesis 2:7).Amen.

I guess I'm back

I realize I am not faithful to post to this blog on a regular basis, but it seems like is has been a really long time since I have been here. Easter, trials, appendectomy, recovery at a location with no Internet and then trying to get caught up all contributed to this extended absence.

My recent surgery and recovery kind of leads me to this title. While I was sick, in the hospital and then recovering, so very many people were kind enough to help me. People did things for me. Everyone want me to rest. People were concerned that I would try to do too much; push myself too hard. No one wanted to stress me. No one wanted to bother me. If the office needed to contact me, they started out with "I hate to bother you, but..." When I returned to the office part time, people would be concerned that I might try to do more than I was ready to do. Everyone was so nice.

By the end of the week, I guess they assumed that I needed to be back to my old self. Suddenly is was "we need this mass email to go out" "we need this project handled" "my computer locked up; can you tell me how to fix it" "can you come look at this?" "can you cover this for me?" "Mom, please come rescue me", etc. You get the idea. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate being needed. A lot of these quotes give me job security. I like to be helpful. But I will say that I am soooo tired today.

So dear family and co-workers, can we please find the balance between babying me and expecting me to run a marathon? I'm back, but not all the way back. Thanks.