summer 2013 retreat(s)?
13 years ago
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Remembering Kevin
What I composed (but not necessarily what I said) for Kevin's memorial service:
How do you reduce a friendship of nearly two decades to a few brief words of remembrance? How do you summarize all those choir tours and affirmation cards: beach trips; youth council retreats with team building; Heart Song; all the various skits; Good Friday passion mimes; and thousands of games of Catch Phrase? You really can’t. Over time, I will share some memories with Sarah and the girls, as I am sure countless other will.
Kevin’s heart was fully given to Huffman UMC and the surrounding community. In fact, Kevin played a vital role in drafting our current mission statement of “Embracing our Community through the transformative love of Christ.”
This is Kevin’s church. Some of you taught him as a child or youth in Sunday school, choir or VBS.
As a young adult, Kevin began attending the Heart Song contemporary worship service here, where his dad was in the praise band. Knowing the important difference between attending church and being actively involved, when Kevin showed an interest, Mike and Sandy encouraged him to find his place to be involved. This just happened to be when I needed another member of the drama team. Kevin embraced it. Almost instantly, we became good friends and developed some great characters together. Kevin took on other leadership roles in the service, as well.
Later, the youth director job opened and Kevin felt called to apply for the job. The rest, as they say, is history. Kevin embraced it. In fact, he embraced youth ministry so much that I wondered if Sarah realized what she was getting herself into when she started dating him. By the time they got married, she was definitely a part of our team.
He was the youth director here for only about 6-7 years, but those years as youth director shaped him, as it shaped countless young people with whom he crossed paths. We worked together on many aspects of youth ministry, but KEVIN is the one who developed special relationships with the youth. He made every youth feel important. As youth matured into young adults, some, in hindsight, thought that they surely did run to Kevin with some silly things. Someone recently said “What was he thinking!?” “Surely he wanted to just tell us to quit whining.” But they were thankful that he helped them navigate those teenage years. He maintained relationships with people long after they had moved on from the youth department and he was no longer the youth director here.
The fact that Kevin was no longer on staff did not keep him from serving the church. He embraced several leadership positions to which he devoted much time. And he had a way of incorporating his love for the church, the people, the community and sports. Most of his adult life was committed to Huffman whether it was youth, young adults, small groups, committees, VBS, The Children’s Place, or basketball and softball - the list goes on. Kevin O’Kelley’s fingerprints are all over the ministries of this church. And Kevin O’Kelley left his impression on the hearts of all of us gathered here.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Letter to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Part of an assignment in my Ethics class
Dear Dr. King:
I imagine you receive many letters giving you an update of civil rights in our country. Bishop White writes you each year on your birthday. He and other instructors have students write to you as well. I would love to be able to read all of these letters from people of all ages and cultures. An overview of the many different views would be the best measure of the current state of civil rights.
My view is skewed from the white perspective. I am a white female who was born and raised in Birmingham. Although I was born during the civil rights movement, I was too young to have any actual memories of the historical events of the city or the country. I was only a few months old when you wrote your letter from Birmingham City Jail. Most of what I know about the things you write comes from history lessons and not from personal experience. But I am sure you receive letters from people much younger than I who have an even further removed view of the incidents of the South in the 1960’s.
I work in downtown Birmingham, just down the street from the jail from which you wrote your letter. I am sorry to say that I pass the Civil Rights Museum and Sixteenth Street Baptist Church regularly, but I have never visited either. I have walked through Kelly Ingram Park and have seen the monuments to civil rights leaders. My firm’s office overlooks Linn Park between Birmingham City Hall and Jefferson County Courthouse. Looking out the window, you can see how much the city has changed since you wrote your letter.
People of many colors walk through the park daily. A diverse population lives and works in the downtown Birmingham area. For most of my life, since before I was old enough to vote, Birmingham has had an African-American mayor. The city council is a mix of male, female, Caucasian and African American. Although we have come a long way, we still have a long way to go to reaching your dream of a time when it would be recognized that all people should be treated equally.
There is still racial tension between blacks and whites in this city and throughout the country. It is a tension that pulls both ways. Too many whites fear, distrust and/or hate blacks. And too many black people have the same feelings toward white people. My own child was targeted at one point in her school because of her blond hair and blue eyes. Luckily, she attended a diverse school with strong leadership who handled the situation in such a way that she was able to be friends with some (but not all) of the black girls who had been previously taught to hate white people.
Of course, the world involves more than just black and white people. And this presents areas that reveal that we still have a long way to go in acceptance and tolerance. Questions regarding same gender marriage, transgender beauty pageant contestants and similar issues reveal society’s homophobic tendencies. Debate regarding immigration laws clearly shows deep prejudice regarding our Latino/Hispanic neighbors. Post 9/11 fears affect the way we treat our Muslim and Middle-Eastern neighbors.
Some would claim that because our country elected the first African-American president, we have overcome some great hurdle or milestone. However, President Obama’s diverse family tree and upbringing actually presents a multitude of bigotry issues. Whether they focus on the president’s African heritage, his biological father’s Islam connection, his childhood in Indonesia or comments from his former pastor, opponents frequently use hateful and often violent language, revealing the continued hatred from anyone who is not “just like us.”
So, Dr. King, this letter is one of good news and bad news. The good news is that you were very influential and we have made great progress with regard to civil rights. The bad news is that laws attempting to create equality will not cure prejudice and hatred. And as soon as one set of laws helps one group, there is another set of people with a new struggle to gain rights. Engraved on the Civil Rights Monument in Montgomery, Alabama is your paraphrase of Amos 5:24: We will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream. We still long for that day. If only we could set aside fear and hatred and replace them instead with God’s love, recognizing that we are all created in His image.
Your sister in Christ,
Dear Dr. King:
I imagine you receive many letters giving you an update of civil rights in our country. Bishop White writes you each year on your birthday. He and other instructors have students write to you as well. I would love to be able to read all of these letters from people of all ages and cultures. An overview of the many different views would be the best measure of the current state of civil rights.
My view is skewed from the white perspective. I am a white female who was born and raised in Birmingham. Although I was born during the civil rights movement, I was too young to have any actual memories of the historical events of the city or the country. I was only a few months old when you wrote your letter from Birmingham City Jail. Most of what I know about the things you write comes from history lessons and not from personal experience. But I am sure you receive letters from people much younger than I who have an even further removed view of the incidents of the South in the 1960’s.
I work in downtown Birmingham, just down the street from the jail from which you wrote your letter. I am sorry to say that I pass the Civil Rights Museum and Sixteenth Street Baptist Church regularly, but I have never visited either. I have walked through Kelly Ingram Park and have seen the monuments to civil rights leaders. My firm’s office overlooks Linn Park between Birmingham City Hall and Jefferson County Courthouse. Looking out the window, you can see how much the city has changed since you wrote your letter.
People of many colors walk through the park daily. A diverse population lives and works in the downtown Birmingham area. For most of my life, since before I was old enough to vote, Birmingham has had an African-American mayor. The city council is a mix of male, female, Caucasian and African American. Although we have come a long way, we still have a long way to go to reaching your dream of a time when it would be recognized that all people should be treated equally.
There is still racial tension between blacks and whites in this city and throughout the country. It is a tension that pulls both ways. Too many whites fear, distrust and/or hate blacks. And too many black people have the same feelings toward white people. My own child was targeted at one point in her school because of her blond hair and blue eyes. Luckily, she attended a diverse school with strong leadership who handled the situation in such a way that she was able to be friends with some (but not all) of the black girls who had been previously taught to hate white people.
Of course, the world involves more than just black and white people. And this presents areas that reveal that we still have a long way to go in acceptance and tolerance. Questions regarding same gender marriage, transgender beauty pageant contestants and similar issues reveal society’s homophobic tendencies. Debate regarding immigration laws clearly shows deep prejudice regarding our Latino/Hispanic neighbors. Post 9/11 fears affect the way we treat our Muslim and Middle-Eastern neighbors.
Some would claim that because our country elected the first African-American president, we have overcome some great hurdle or milestone. However, President Obama’s diverse family tree and upbringing actually presents a multitude of bigotry issues. Whether they focus on the president’s African heritage, his biological father’s Islam connection, his childhood in Indonesia or comments from his former pastor, opponents frequently use hateful and often violent language, revealing the continued hatred from anyone who is not “just like us.”
So, Dr. King, this letter is one of good news and bad news. The good news is that you were very influential and we have made great progress with regard to civil rights. The bad news is that laws attempting to create equality will not cure prejudice and hatred. And as soon as one set of laws helps one group, there is another set of people with a new struggle to gain rights. Engraved on the Civil Rights Monument in Montgomery, Alabama is your paraphrase of Amos 5:24: We will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream. We still long for that day. If only we could set aside fear and hatred and replace them instead with God’s love, recognizing that we are all created in His image.
Your sister in Christ,
Friday, August 27, 2010
When you don't get the answers, change the questions
I must be in the mood for a change. Maybe I am being prepared for a change. Last week I thought about how a little change can do you good. Then this week I saw something about change that caught my attention.
In a post on a United Methodist group page, clergy coach Val Hastings challenged readers to “Change Your Questions, Change Your Church.” He had heard a statement on the radio that had caught his attention. History changed when a single question changed; when we stopped asking, "How do we get to the water?" and started asking, "How do we get the water to us?" What a significant turn for human beings.
Hastings thought about how this relates to ministry. How would our churches change if churches were to change our questions?
This reminded me a lot of a class I took earlier this year. The instructor was enthusiastic that we need to change our slogan from re-thinking church to unthinking church. The required texts for the course and presentations during the course suggested that we need to change the questions we ask about church and our plans in order to move toward the future with more effective ideas. Traditional church growth and development strategies no longer work for the 21st century church and we must be prepared to make changes or be prepared to watch the institution of the church continue to become irrelevant in our culture.
God is always calling us to be more than we have been. If we change our questions, can we open new possibilities? Are we being called to redefine the mission and life of the church? Are we ready to change?
What needs to change? The basic mission of the church has not changed, but the means by which we carry out that mission have to change because the methods we currently use are in many ways no longer effective. The challenge is for the church to move in innovative ways without losing our values.
We constantly hear people lament over the current state of the church. We read reports and articles on the decline of Christianity (and religion in general). Leaders worry over the decline in denominational membership. People see the growing population who claim no church affiliation as an insurmountable obstacle. But the mission is not impossible. Our biggest obstacles may not be the ambiguous society, but our own church structure and our resistance to change. Change the questions. There are many questions that should be changed. We could start by reversing the water question. Stop asking, "How do we get people to church?" and start asking "How do we get to people?"
In a post on a United Methodist group page, clergy coach Val Hastings challenged readers to “Change Your Questions, Change Your Church.” He had heard a statement on the radio that had caught his attention. History changed when a single question changed; when we stopped asking, "How do we get to the water?" and started asking, "How do we get the water to us?" What a significant turn for human beings.
Hastings thought about how this relates to ministry. How would our churches change if churches were to change our questions?
This reminded me a lot of a class I took earlier this year. The instructor was enthusiastic that we need to change our slogan from re-thinking church to unthinking church. The required texts for the course and presentations during the course suggested that we need to change the questions we ask about church and our plans in order to move toward the future with more effective ideas. Traditional church growth and development strategies no longer work for the 21st century church and we must be prepared to make changes or be prepared to watch the institution of the church continue to become irrelevant in our culture.
God is always calling us to be more than we have been. If we change our questions, can we open new possibilities? Are we being called to redefine the mission and life of the church? Are we ready to change?
What needs to change? The basic mission of the church has not changed, but the means by which we carry out that mission have to change because the methods we currently use are in many ways no longer effective. The challenge is for the church to move in innovative ways without losing our values.
We constantly hear people lament over the current state of the church. We read reports and articles on the decline of Christianity (and religion in general). Leaders worry over the decline in denominational membership. People see the growing population who claim no church affiliation as an insurmountable obstacle. But the mission is not impossible. Our biggest obstacles may not be the ambiguous society, but our own church structure and our resistance to change. Change the questions. There are many questions that should be changed. We could start by reversing the water question. Stop asking, "How do we get people to church?" and start asking "How do we get to people?"
Friday, August 20, 2010
a little change will do you good
There is an old proverb that says change is the only constant. Another reminds us that “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” Robert C. Gallagher said “Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.” Life is all about change. We fear change when we are unsure what that change will bring. We want change when we think it is a change for the better. We elected a president who campaigned on hope and change. Wait. That could lead this post in an entirely different direction. Let us change back to my original thought.
I am part of a denominational system where the clergy change churches several (many) times. This dates back to the circuit riders of our early church. Pastors travelled on horseback around defined circuits. After a year or two, they would be assigned to a different circuit. This rotation of appointments has continued. One would think that our congregations would be accustomed to change. While the clergy may be used to changing churches and churches adapt to changing preachers, other changes do not occur so easily. Resistance to change is not limited to the church.
I will admit I find great comfort in the familiar. Next month will be the 22nd anniversary of my employment with the law firm. I don’t upgrade my cell phone every 2 years just because I can. I don’t like the idea of changing just for the sake of change, but I do like to see progress. Change in the right direction is exciting. I try to adapt. I hate to say or hear “but we’ve always done it this way.”
I would hate to think I had to type legal documents using a typewriter and carbon paper. Although I don’t go that far back, I have seen many changes in the way things are done. When I get frustrated with the many drafts and changes to a document, I try to be thankful that I am doing this on a computer and most of the drafts are being emailed back and forth. How much paper was wasted as we printed out drafts that were marked up for edits to be re-typed? As we have changed, we have cut down on waste. Documents are e-filed instead. No printed copy to be delivered to a courthouse to be filed and hard copies distributed to all parties. Trial presentation evolved from select items being enlarged on foam board to having most, if not all, documents scanned to the computer and ready to be projected to screens or monitors in the courtroom. Change can be a good thing.
There are so many possibilities today. So why is worship often boring and predictable? Worship is not supposed to be just something we do out of habit. It is not supposed to be just going through the motions. This does not mean we have to do something outrageous just to get attention or draw a crowd. The message has not changed, but the world has changed and we need to find new ways to present the message.
When my great-grandparents travelled from the Britain to North America, they crossed the Atlantic via ship. I fly Delta. Same journey. Different means of transportation.
Let’s think about ways we can change things up. Change can be exciting. Change can bring progress.
I am part of a denominational system where the clergy change churches several (many) times. This dates back to the circuit riders of our early church. Pastors travelled on horseback around defined circuits. After a year or two, they would be assigned to a different circuit. This rotation of appointments has continued. One would think that our congregations would be accustomed to change. While the clergy may be used to changing churches and churches adapt to changing preachers, other changes do not occur so easily. Resistance to change is not limited to the church.
I will admit I find great comfort in the familiar. Next month will be the 22nd anniversary of my employment with the law firm. I don’t upgrade my cell phone every 2 years just because I can. I don’t like the idea of changing just for the sake of change, but I do like to see progress. Change in the right direction is exciting. I try to adapt. I hate to say or hear “but we’ve always done it this way.”
I would hate to think I had to type legal documents using a typewriter and carbon paper. Although I don’t go that far back, I have seen many changes in the way things are done. When I get frustrated with the many drafts and changes to a document, I try to be thankful that I am doing this on a computer and most of the drafts are being emailed back and forth. How much paper was wasted as we printed out drafts that were marked up for edits to be re-typed? As we have changed, we have cut down on waste. Documents are e-filed instead. No printed copy to be delivered to a courthouse to be filed and hard copies distributed to all parties. Trial presentation evolved from select items being enlarged on foam board to having most, if not all, documents scanned to the computer and ready to be projected to screens or monitors in the courtroom. Change can be a good thing.
There are so many possibilities today. So why is worship often boring and predictable? Worship is not supposed to be just something we do out of habit. It is not supposed to be just going through the motions. This does not mean we have to do something outrageous just to get attention or draw a crowd. The message has not changed, but the world has changed and we need to find new ways to present the message.
When my great-grandparents travelled from the Britain to North America, they crossed the Atlantic via ship. I fly Delta. Same journey. Different means of transportation.
Let’s think about ways we can change things up. Change can be exciting. Change can bring progress.
Monday, June 28, 2010
wow has it really been that long?
I did not realize it had been so long since I had posted anything here. After tossing around several possibilities, I have been appointed to Huffman UMC. It is kind of like moving home after college or something, but the team is back together.
VBS at Moody, followed by moving week, followed by VBS at Huffman then working a Walk to Emmaus has me pretty worn out. It has also created a huge pile of stuff on my desk. During WTE, I gave up the disorganization and clutter that keeps me from being effective, so I am confident that I will blog more often.
Of course, since I gave up disorganization, I have managed to misplace my watch. I guess it will take more than tearing off a piece of bread and saying that I want less clutter.
VBS at Moody, followed by moving week, followed by VBS at Huffman then working a Walk to Emmaus has me pretty worn out. It has also created a huge pile of stuff on my desk. During WTE, I gave up the disorganization and clutter that keeps me from being effective, so I am confident that I will blog more often.
Of course, since I gave up disorganization, I have managed to misplace my watch. I guess it will take more than tearing off a piece of bread and saying that I want less clutter.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
a little change will do you good
Although part of the crossroads question has been answered, there are many questions remaining. I know there are changes ahead for me. I just don't know exactly what those changes will be. So I have been thinking about change.
Today I was reading change your pew change your perspective by Genikwa Williams (http://www..sojo.net/2010/02/25/change-you-pew-change-your-perspective/). First, I thought it would be so cool to show up to church and it be so crowded you couldn't sit in your normal spot. Then I found it interesting that she said that she worshipped God with her whole body, because that goes along with the Praise Party lessons we have been using in our children's ministries. But then I thought about a couple in our church. A couple of weeks ago, I received a text which asked me to give them a message. I did not see them in what I thought was their normal spot during the greeting time. When I got to the pulpit for the pastoral prayer, I saw them on the other side of the church. I later mentioned this to another member, who responded something along the lines of: "Oh they move around from spot to spot so they can pray for each section."
I will miss people like that when I am moved to another church. But being reminded that sometimes we have to move to let God move in us is confirmation that moving is the right thing to do.
So I stand in the crossroads knowing that I will be taking a different road and I wait to see which road it is.
Today I was reading change your pew change your perspective by Genikwa Williams (http://www..sojo.net/2010/02/25/change-you-pew-change-your-perspective/). First, I thought it would be so cool to show up to church and it be so crowded you couldn't sit in your normal spot. Then I found it interesting that she said that she worshipped God with her whole body, because that goes along with the Praise Party lessons we have been using in our children's ministries. But then I thought about a couple in our church. A couple of weeks ago, I received a text which asked me to give them a message. I did not see them in what I thought was their normal spot during the greeting time. When I got to the pulpit for the pastoral prayer, I saw them on the other side of the church. I later mentioned this to another member, who responded something along the lines of: "Oh they move around from spot to spot so they can pray for each section."
I will miss people like that when I am moved to another church. But being reminded that sometimes we have to move to let God move in us is confirmation that moving is the right thing to do.
So I stand in the crossroads knowing that I will be taking a different road and I wait to see which road it is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
