what I really think

this morning I wanted to do announcements and say something I had been thinking. all the way to church I thought about how I would say it. but when I arrived at church, a realization of the changing times welcomed me.

For a year and a half I have thought that I could afford to be the one who to challenge the church. after all, my livelihood does not depend on the church paycheck. if I was the one to honestly assess a situation and said assessment angered the congregation, I could afford to be run off. But today was the the beginning of a change. Well a change that will last for at least the next couple of months.

Tim offered to do announcements and address a situation. He reasoned that he would be leaving in a couple of months and he could afford to say the possibly unpopular things. What unwelcome announcement could we possibly need to make?

Well, last night was the youth fundraiser - a St. Paddy's Day Party/Dance. Money raised will be used for the youth mission project. Last week the church council included a long discussion on how we need to have programming for the youth. People commented on the importance of youth ministry. But last night the only people who showed up for the fundraiser were people associated with youth.

I was proud to have a good youth representation. (a concern since it was the beginning of Spring break) I was thankful for the parents and grandparents who helped prepare for the party. The new youth director and family worked hard on an event they kind of inherited because it was planned before they came on board. I appreciate the people who came on Friday to set up sound and decorate. The people who came out Friday for set up and those who attended the party on Saturday all seemed to have a good time.

Although there was certainly for which to be thankful, I couldn't help but wonder where all those people who just a few days earlier had talked about the importance of youth ministry. Where were the people whose presence could have sent a message to the youth that the congregation supported them? Where was the desire to fellowship with one another?

I really wanted to stand up and tell these people of my disappointment. I wanted to tell them that they needed to back up their words with their actions. I wanted to say this is the first church I had ever known where the people only supported a cause if they reaped some benefit. They only attend an event if they have some personal interest in the particular ministry. Can't they see that they should have a personal interest in every ministry of their church?

But Tim set out to protect me from my own mouth. Instead I stood in the back and kept Dustin from burning down the church while Tim told everyone what a good time they missed. Pictures of all the fun scrolled across the screen (eventually) while Tim described the excellent potato bar, lively music and fun missed by those who failed to come out to support the youth fundraiser. He reminded the congregation of how much youth would enjoy interaction with other generations. He reminded them of the importance of showing support.

And so once again only a few will know what I really think. Because I am learning that maybe I do not always have to be the one who says what I think.