summer 2013 retreat(s)?
13 years ago
Friday, November 15, 2019
Stay Woke
I found this as a Draft, which I never posted.
One Sunday I preached on Matthew 25:1-13 at Huffman UMC. 'In my brain' reading of the scripture was inspired by David Henson. Andy interrupted my reading with other verses.
Webster defines a parable as a short simple story illustrating a moral or spiritual truth.
We sometimes say that Jesus spoke in parables using everyday examples so that his listeners could understand complex spiritual truths. But sometimes they are just confusing.
Lutheran preacher Nadia Bolz-Weber once tweeted ‘Reading parables as instruction on how to behave is like using riddles to get directions to the airport’.
That might be true here. I will admit that I struggled with this parable as I prepared for this sermon. I am pretty sure that every sermon I have ever heard on this scripture reminded us to all be good scouts – Be Prepared. When I first looked at this a few weeks ago, I kept hearing “Don’t Share!” which seemed totally un-Jesus-like.
I looked at the other scripture options to see if they were more appealing. But the reason I like to preach the lectionary is that it challenges me to really interpret the word of God, instead of preaching my thoughts and finding scripture to support my ideas. So I studied and prayed through this scripture.
In my brain, it sounded something like this:
“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten young bridesmaids who took their lamps and went out to meet the groom. Now five of them were wise, and the other five were foolish...
1 Corinthians 3 18 Stop deceiving yourselves. If you think you are wise by this world’s standards, you need to become a fool to be truly wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say,
“He traps the wise
in the snare of their own cleverness.”
20 And again,
“The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise;
he knows they are worthless.”
...3 The foolish ones took their lamps but didn’t bring oil for them. 4 But the wise ones took their lamps and also brought containers of oil.
5 “When the groom was late in coming, they all became drowsy and went to sleep. 6 But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Look, the groom! Come out to meet him.’
7 “Then all those bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. 8 But the foolish bridesmaids said to the wise ones, ‘Give us some of your oil, because our lamps have gone out.’
9 “But the wise bridesmaids replied, ‘No, because if we share with you, there won’t be enough for our lamps and yours...
Matthew 5:42 Give to those who ask, and don’t refuse those who wish to borrow from you.
Luke 6 – 29b If someone takes your coat, don’t withhold your shirt either.30 Give to everyone who asks and don’t demand your things back from those who take them.
We have a better idea. You go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’
1 John 3:17 If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?
...10 But while they were gone to buy oil, the groom came. Those who were ready went with him into the wedding.
Matthew 19: 30 But many who are first will be last. And many who are last will be first.
Then the door was shut...
Matthew 23: 13 “How terrible it will be for you legal experts and Pharisees! Hypocrites! You shut people out of the kingdom of heaven.
...11 “Later the other bridesmaids came and said, ‘Lord, lord, open the door for us.’
12 “But he replied, ‘I tell you the truth, I don’t know you.’...
Proverbs 21:13 Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.
...13 “Therefore, keep alert, because you don’t know the day or the hour.
Stay woke!
The heart of the message of Jesus is that we have a generous God who invites us to be generous. I was having a hard time reconciling the inconsistencies of this scripture about some pretty selfish ‘wise’ bridesmaids with other verses about giving to anyone who asks and coming up with anything that developed into a sermon. How do we hear this parable as a story that is filled with God’s grace?
My mother faithfully attended church of a different denomination as a child and teenager. In high school she visited West Woodlawn Methodist with friends. I always assumed that she became Methodist because that's where she met my daddy. Shortly before she died, she very seriously told my sister and me that growing up, she'd leave church feeling scared, worried and guilty. It was in the Methodist church that she first heard about grace in church. And she knew she would raise her children in a church that taught about God's grace. So with that heritage, you see why I am looking for the grace in this parable.
But inside the wedding feast is a group who did not do what Jesus taught – share generously, even if it means your own suffering. Outside is a group who are experiencing rejection despite their efforts of going out in the dark and somehow finding someone to sell them oil. And there they are, knocking on the door. Jesus said the door would be opened if we knock. How do we make sense of this situation?
How can we celebrate the wise maids who are responsible for the rejection the foolish faced? They sent them out in the middle of the night with no light. I realize the foolish bridesmaids played a part in the situation by not bringing enough oil. But the other bridesmaids seem to just be kicking them while they are down.
I have struggled with this for a while. Until one morning this week during my devotion, the right question came to me. And I realized we might need to look at this from a different perspective.
We teach our children to trace their hand to draw a turkey. Turkeys might teach their children to trace their feathers to draw a person.
We have been teaching that the bridesmaids who brought enough oil to replenish their lamps were the wise ones. But it is not always easy to tell the difference between the wise and the foolish. As Andy’s scriptural interruptions reminded us '19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God.'
Let’s look this story again in context.
In the chapter before this story, the disciples ask Jesus to help them understand the signs of the end of the age. Jesus tells them struggles that will occur in the last times. He tells them that no one knows exactly when that day will come. Matthew 25 has today’s parable of the bridesmaids, followed by the parable of the talents and then the parable of the sheep and goats. Which leads us right up to:
I was hungry and you didn’t give me food to eat. I was thirsty and you didn’t give me anything to drink. I was a stranger and you didn’t welcome me. I was naked and you didn’t give me clothes to wear. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
"when you haven’t done it for one of the least of these, you haven’t done it for me.’
Now looking through the lens of the chapter before and the completion of Chapter 25, let us look at these bridesmaids again.
Jesus’ disciples are eager to understand the end times. He tells them there will be signs, but there will also be incorrect rumors. Trust what Jesus has taught us.
The wisdom of God tells us to look at Jesus’ overall message. Love God. Love others. Show that love by giving food, drink, clothing. Welcome the stranger. Visit the sick and imprisoned. Take care of the least, the lost, the last.
The wisdom of God tells us that his way turns conventional wisdom upside down. In Corinthians Paul reminds us that the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are being destroyed. But it is the power of God for those of us who are being saved.
The wisdom of God asks how can God's love be in the person who shows no compassion? We are hypocrites if we shut others out of the kingdom of heaven.
Professor and author Marcus Borg wrote: Christianity is not about avoiding punishment or gaining reward. It is about loving God and loving what God loves. And what God loves is the whole of creation.
As I was praying though this scripture this week, the question that came to mind was. “Who are the bridesmaids we are sending out in the dark?”
Who is being shut out of the kingdom of heaven?
Membership in Mainline Protestant denominations continues to decline year after year. We keep hearing about the ‘nones’ and ‘dones’ – those who have never been affiliated with and those who have left the church. I’m sure almost everyone here today knows someone – a friend or family member – who has left the church for some reason. Because they asked too many questions, so they were told they didn't have enough faith. Because they did not dress the way some 'wise' church person thought was right. Because they were different in some way. Because someone deemed them foolish. Because they didn’t have enough oil. Or enough faith. Or were somehow lacking in the eyes of the wise church members. In one of Father Richard Rohr's meditations this week, he noted humans are afraid and mistrustful of all otherness. We have a long way to go to embrace those who are different than us.
Their lack of sameness is their modern day lack of oil.
As christians we should do better.
On Veterans Day weekend we could note that our military is diverse. People serve alongside people who are different than themselves. They serve/deploy/fight in countries whose citizens are very different. But often when there is a common cause, we overlook those differences. At least temporarily.
Not all Veterans have been welcomed back home and treated well. Some have felt like they were sent out to the darkness and left out in the cold.
As a country, we can do better for our veterans.
As a church, we must do better for all God's children.
Who have we sent out in the dark? To whom have we closed our doors?
Today’s scriptures closes with the verse that tells us to stay awake or be alert.
Some of you may have wondered about the sermon title.
The phrase ‘Stay Woke' is increasingly used as a byword for social awareness.
It was popularized as a call to action that went hand in hand with the #BlackLivesMatter movement, but the idea of getting (and staying) "woke" has broadened and taken on a different, more complex meaning in the years since it first began to spread across the internet.
"woke," means understanding systemic injustices, and being determined to do something about them.
Being Woke means Knowing what's going on in the community.
Staying "woke" for us means being aware that no matter how welcoming we think we are, we can always be better. We must be aware that we are still sometimes the smug wise bridesmaids. We still hoard all the oil that we were wise enough to obtain. We still send people out in the dark.
Stay Woke. That oil is the grace of God.
Stay Woke. Confess that we have tried to hoard that grace for ourselves.
Stay Woke. We are all made in the image of God.
Stay Woke. Don't accept a system that excludes others.
Stay Woke. Be aware. Stay alert. Who are the ones we've sent out in the dark? To whom have we shut the door?
Now what are we going to do about it?
Thursday, November 14, 2019
THE MARRIAGE TRAP
Luke 20:27-38 Common English Bible (CEB) 27 Some Sadducees, who deny that there’s a resurrection, came to Jesus and asked, 28 “Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies leaving a widow but no children, the brother must marry the widow and raise up children for his brother. 29 Now there were seven brothers. The first man married a woman and then died childless. 30 The second 31 and then the third brother married her. Eventually all seven married her, and they all died without leaving any children. 32 Finally, the woman died too. 33 In the resurrection, whose wife will she be? All seven were married to her.” 34 Jesus said to them, “People who belong to this age marry and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are considered worthy to participate in that age, that is, in the age of the resurrection from the dead, won’t marry nor will they be given in marriage. 36 They can no longer die, because they are like angels and are God’s children since they share in the resurrection. 37 Even Moses demonstrated that the dead are raised—in the passage about the burning bush, when he speaks of the Lord as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. 38 He isn’t the God of the dead but of the living. To him they are all alive.”
THE MARRIAGE TRAP
This Sunday's gospel may be one of the earliest recorded uses of marriage as a weapon regarding a controversy among religious leaders.
This scripture is a challenge to me because I do not claim to be an expert in marriage or the afterlife.
Let’s put this narrative in context. Over the last several weeks we have been traveling with Jesus on his way to Jerusalem and the journey is drawing near its conclusion. Last week we were in Jericho with Jesus and Zacchaeus. The lectionary skips over several verses at this time, so between last week and today, Jesus has entered Jerusalem, gone to the Temple, and has been teaching there every day, while his opponents look for the opportunity and means to get rid of him. We have reached a point in Luke’s gospel where the Sadducees are part of a trend of trying to trap Jesus. Jesus cleansed the Temple in Luke 19 and 19:48 tells us that "From that point on, the chief priests, the scribes and the leaders of the people kept looking for a way to kill him".
So, as he teaches in the Temple, various groups come to try to trap him with questions about his authority, about paying taxes, and now, about resurrection.
The series of events between last week’s reading and this week intensified the tension and hostility between Jesus and the religious authorities of his day.
Who are these religious authorities? The Sadducees and Pharisees - two sects of Jews, who differ in their interpretation of the tradition’s teachings.
The Sadducees had primary authority over the Temple. They recognized only the original five books of Moses - (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy) - as fully authoritative. They did not believe in the resurrection of the dead because it is not referenced in these books known as the Torah or Pentateuch.
The Pharisees believed that God continued to speak to and through people beyond those five books. They also read the Prophets and Psalms as scripture, and it was there that Pharisees found justification for belief in the resurrection of the dead. In some ways these groups were rivals, but they were united in their opposition to Jesus.
Along comes Jesus, who has been attracting a lot of attention. The Sadducees put away their differences with the Pharisees in order to discredit Jesus.
Those who say there is no resurrection have a question for Jesus about resurrection.
Theologian Sarah Dylan Breuer noted that “They went for the political jugular -- they went for family values.” Because – everyone knows that family -- marriage and parenthood – is the bedrock of society. The Sadducees thought they had Jesus right where they wanted him. And by challenging him on the question of resurrection, they may embarrass the Pharisees as a bonus. The Sadducees have asked a trick question.
In this Biblical definition of marriage, the law they referenced comes from Deuteronomy and was meant to ensure the family name was carried on by stipulating that a man should marry the childless widow of his brother. The question is hypothetical, taking an ancient practice to a far-fetched scenario to demonstrate that the whole idea of resurrection was foolish.
Jesus avoids their trap by pointing out their failure to understand the resurrection -- resurrection life is different from life here and now. Additionally, he shows their failure to understand Scriptures by using another passage from the Pentateuch (the Exodus 3 story of Moses' encounter with God in the burning bush) to establish the legitimacy of life after death. The passage proclaims in present tense that God is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, not that God was their God. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob must in some sense be alive; therefore, the necessity of resurrection. The Sadducees set a trap for Jesus and it is turned back on them.
The entire argument of the Sadducees is based on the idea that in the kingdom of God, things will be just like they are now. Jesus insists that life after death is different from life now. Debating to whom a woman who has had seven husbands will be married is silly.
The ordinary events and relationships by which we track our mortal life -- marriage, childbirth, graduations, so on -- do not depict our eternal lives because resurrection life is not merely an extension of this life, but something totally different.
The butterfly is a helpful symbol of this reality. The caterpillar and butterfly are entirely different, but they are the same animal. Caterpillars crawl and eat leaves. Butterflies fly and drink nectar and pollen. They are different life stages of the same animal. We will be as different after death as a butterfly is from a caterpillar, but we will still be ourselves.
We don’t really know very much about what life will be like after we die. This is something, that as far as I know, none of us have direct experience. We do know from Jesus that we will be with God and will be safe.
The Next Place, by Warren Hanson, is a poetic exploration of things we know and do not know about life after death. According to Hanson, it will be very different – no Mondays or months or body characteristics – no boy or girl or color of skin – but we will know we belong and will be close to all the people we have loved.
Whatever the limits we may experience about describing resurrection life, this passage invites us to proclaim with confidence our faith that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob raised Jesus from death and promises to do the same also for us. Because Jesus brings a message of Good news – of hope – of love. In this life and the next God is with us.
I often wonder what would have happened if the Pharisees and Sadducees had spent as much time actually listening to Jesus to hear as they did listening to find something to use against him. What if they had taken his teaching to heart rather than arguing with each other and plotting against Jesus. I wonder the same thing about religious leaders today. The questions they pose in order to trap Jesus are just unnecessary noise which distract from the important things Jesus taught.
The Pharisees and Sadducees disagreed on which books were authoritative scripture. Their differing interpretation of scripture lead them to differing beliefs on resurrection. We know from Paul’s letters to various churches that there were disagreements and differences among the followers in the emerging church. To this day the church is divided into branches and denominations. Our own denomination is divided on issues. And we all waste a lot of time, energy and money arguing over issues that distract us from the overall message of Jesus.
As Jesus walked this earth, he was clearly concerned about healing and transformation of individuals and of society. The church has focused more on doctrinal belief and morality.
In John 17, Jesus prayed for all believers to be one – to be brought to complete unity. He did not pray for uniformity, but unity. The church has historically defined us in groups - often, like the Pharisees and Sadducees, in oppositional ways.
On what should we focus?
Last week when I attended a gathering of the clergy of the North Alabama conference, Bishop Bob Farr preached from Matthew 14, where Jesus walked on the water. Peter got out of the boat and came toward Jesus, but when he saw the wind, he became afraid and began to sink. Bishop Farr reminded us that Peter’s mistake was that he took his eyes off Jesus. And then he reminded us that our mistake, as pastors, is that our eyes are often on the church instead of on Jesus. We are GAZING at the church and only glancing at Jesus.
I fear we are too much concerned with the preservation of the institution of the church and focused on our differences, when we should be keeping our eyes on Jesus. We need to be focused on the message. And Jesus’ message included that we would have the Holy Spirit to continue to communicate with us in an everchanging world.
The Sadducees were defenders of the status quo. I’m sure their origins were noble, and they thought they were righteous. But they never got past the first 5 books of the Bible. Eventually, their identity was tied to temple worship and they ceased to exist as a group after the destruction of the temple.
To what is our identity tied? Is our energy spent defending the way things have always been done? Are we listening to the Holy Spirit guiding us to new ways to embrace our community?
Last week, I asked when Huffman UMC was most successful. Think about that for a minute. Many of you have been here your entire life. When was the height of our success?
I dare to say that it is now as we are in ministry with our community. Our focus is not tied just to our worship here on Sunday morning, but to the ways we can be in ministry seven days a week. I believe we are a resurrection church. We might not look the same today as we looked nearly 150 years ago when this church was founded. We don’t look like we did the first time I came to Huffman in the early 90s. We don’t look like we did 20 years ago. And we won’t look the same in 10 years. But if we keep our eyes on Jesus and listen to the Holy Spirit, we will be part of the Kingdom of God – worthy to participate in the resurrection - continuing to do the work we are called to do.
THE MARRIAGE TRAP
This Sunday's gospel may be one of the earliest recorded uses of marriage as a weapon regarding a controversy among religious leaders.
This scripture is a challenge to me because I do not claim to be an expert in marriage or the afterlife.
Let’s put this narrative in context. Over the last several weeks we have been traveling with Jesus on his way to Jerusalem and the journey is drawing near its conclusion. Last week we were in Jericho with Jesus and Zacchaeus. The lectionary skips over several verses at this time, so between last week and today, Jesus has entered Jerusalem, gone to the Temple, and has been teaching there every day, while his opponents look for the opportunity and means to get rid of him. We have reached a point in Luke’s gospel where the Sadducees are part of a trend of trying to trap Jesus. Jesus cleansed the Temple in Luke 19 and 19:48 tells us that "From that point on, the chief priests, the scribes and the leaders of the people kept looking for a way to kill him".
So, as he teaches in the Temple, various groups come to try to trap him with questions about his authority, about paying taxes, and now, about resurrection.
The series of events between last week’s reading and this week intensified the tension and hostility between Jesus and the religious authorities of his day.
Who are these religious authorities? The Sadducees and Pharisees - two sects of Jews, who differ in their interpretation of the tradition’s teachings.
The Sadducees had primary authority over the Temple. They recognized only the original five books of Moses - (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy) - as fully authoritative. They did not believe in the resurrection of the dead because it is not referenced in these books known as the Torah or Pentateuch.
The Pharisees believed that God continued to speak to and through people beyond those five books. They also read the Prophets and Psalms as scripture, and it was there that Pharisees found justification for belief in the resurrection of the dead. In some ways these groups were rivals, but they were united in their opposition to Jesus.
Along comes Jesus, who has been attracting a lot of attention. The Sadducees put away their differences with the Pharisees in order to discredit Jesus.
Those who say there is no resurrection have a question for Jesus about resurrection.
Theologian Sarah Dylan Breuer noted that “They went for the political jugular -- they went for family values.” Because – everyone knows that family -- marriage and parenthood – is the bedrock of society. The Sadducees thought they had Jesus right where they wanted him. And by challenging him on the question of resurrection, they may embarrass the Pharisees as a bonus. The Sadducees have asked a trick question.
In this Biblical definition of marriage, the law they referenced comes from Deuteronomy and was meant to ensure the family name was carried on by stipulating that a man should marry the childless widow of his brother. The question is hypothetical, taking an ancient practice to a far-fetched scenario to demonstrate that the whole idea of resurrection was foolish.
Jesus avoids their trap by pointing out their failure to understand the resurrection -- resurrection life is different from life here and now. Additionally, he shows their failure to understand Scriptures by using another passage from the Pentateuch (the Exodus 3 story of Moses' encounter with God in the burning bush) to establish the legitimacy of life after death. The passage proclaims in present tense that God is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, not that God was their God. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob must in some sense be alive; therefore, the necessity of resurrection. The Sadducees set a trap for Jesus and it is turned back on them.
The entire argument of the Sadducees is based on the idea that in the kingdom of God, things will be just like they are now. Jesus insists that life after death is different from life now. Debating to whom a woman who has had seven husbands will be married is silly.
The ordinary events and relationships by which we track our mortal life -- marriage, childbirth, graduations, so on -- do not depict our eternal lives because resurrection life is not merely an extension of this life, but something totally different.
The butterfly is a helpful symbol of this reality. The caterpillar and butterfly are entirely different, but they are the same animal. Caterpillars crawl and eat leaves. Butterflies fly and drink nectar and pollen. They are different life stages of the same animal. We will be as different after death as a butterfly is from a caterpillar, but we will still be ourselves.
We don’t really know very much about what life will be like after we die. This is something, that as far as I know, none of us have direct experience. We do know from Jesus that we will be with God and will be safe.
The Next Place, by Warren Hanson, is a poetic exploration of things we know and do not know about life after death. According to Hanson, it will be very different – no Mondays or months or body characteristics – no boy or girl or color of skin – but we will know we belong and will be close to all the people we have loved.
Whatever the limits we may experience about describing resurrection life, this passage invites us to proclaim with confidence our faith that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob raised Jesus from death and promises to do the same also for us. Because Jesus brings a message of Good news – of hope – of love. In this life and the next God is with us.
I often wonder what would have happened if the Pharisees and Sadducees had spent as much time actually listening to Jesus to hear as they did listening to find something to use against him. What if they had taken his teaching to heart rather than arguing with each other and plotting against Jesus. I wonder the same thing about religious leaders today. The questions they pose in order to trap Jesus are just unnecessary noise which distract from the important things Jesus taught.
The Pharisees and Sadducees disagreed on which books were authoritative scripture. Their differing interpretation of scripture lead them to differing beliefs on resurrection. We know from Paul’s letters to various churches that there were disagreements and differences among the followers in the emerging church. To this day the church is divided into branches and denominations. Our own denomination is divided on issues. And we all waste a lot of time, energy and money arguing over issues that distract us from the overall message of Jesus.
As Jesus walked this earth, he was clearly concerned about healing and transformation of individuals and of society. The church has focused more on doctrinal belief and morality.
In John 17, Jesus prayed for all believers to be one – to be brought to complete unity. He did not pray for uniformity, but unity. The church has historically defined us in groups - often, like the Pharisees and Sadducees, in oppositional ways.
On what should we focus?
Last week when I attended a gathering of the clergy of the North Alabama conference, Bishop Bob Farr preached from Matthew 14, where Jesus walked on the water. Peter got out of the boat and came toward Jesus, but when he saw the wind, he became afraid and began to sink. Bishop Farr reminded us that Peter’s mistake was that he took his eyes off Jesus. And then he reminded us that our mistake, as pastors, is that our eyes are often on the church instead of on Jesus. We are GAZING at the church and only glancing at Jesus.
I fear we are too much concerned with the preservation of the institution of the church and focused on our differences, when we should be keeping our eyes on Jesus. We need to be focused on the message. And Jesus’ message included that we would have the Holy Spirit to continue to communicate with us in an everchanging world.
The Sadducees were defenders of the status quo. I’m sure their origins were noble, and they thought they were righteous. But they never got past the first 5 books of the Bible. Eventually, their identity was tied to temple worship and they ceased to exist as a group after the destruction of the temple.
To what is our identity tied? Is our energy spent defending the way things have always been done? Are we listening to the Holy Spirit guiding us to new ways to embrace our community?
Last week, I asked when Huffman UMC was most successful. Think about that for a minute. Many of you have been here your entire life. When was the height of our success?
I dare to say that it is now as we are in ministry with our community. Our focus is not tied just to our worship here on Sunday morning, but to the ways we can be in ministry seven days a week. I believe we are a resurrection church. We might not look the same today as we looked nearly 150 years ago when this church was founded. We don’t look like we did the first time I came to Huffman in the early 90s. We don’t look like we did 20 years ago. And we won’t look the same in 10 years. But if we keep our eyes on Jesus and listen to the Holy Spirit, we will be part of the Kingdom of God – worthy to participate in the resurrection - continuing to do the work we are called to do.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Remembering Kevin
What I composed (but not necessarily what I said) for Kevin's memorial service:
How do you reduce a friendship of nearly two decades to a few brief words of remembrance? How do you summarize all those choir tours and affirmation cards: beach trips; youth council retreats with team building; Heart Song; all the various skits; Good Friday passion mimes; and thousands of games of Catch Phrase? You really can’t. Over time, I will share some memories with Sarah and the girls, as I am sure countless other will.
Kevin’s heart was fully given to Huffman UMC and the surrounding community. In fact, Kevin played a vital role in drafting our current mission statement of “Embracing our Community through the transformative love of Christ.”
This is Kevin’s church. Some of you taught him as a child or youth in Sunday school, choir or VBS.
As a young adult, Kevin began attending the Heart Song contemporary worship service here, where his dad was in the praise band. Knowing the important difference between attending church and being actively involved, when Kevin showed an interest, Mike and Sandy encouraged him to find his place to be involved. This just happened to be when I needed another member of the drama team. Kevin embraced it. Almost instantly, we became good friends and developed some great characters together. Kevin took on other leadership roles in the service, as well.
Later, the youth director job opened and Kevin felt called to apply for the job. The rest, as they say, is history. Kevin embraced it. In fact, he embraced youth ministry so much that I wondered if Sarah realized what she was getting herself into when she started dating him. By the time they got married, she was definitely a part of our team.
He was the youth director here for only about 6-7 years, but those years as youth director shaped him, as it shaped countless young people with whom he crossed paths. We worked together on many aspects of youth ministry, but KEVIN is the one who developed special relationships with the youth. He made every youth feel important. As youth matured into young adults, some, in hindsight, thought that they surely did run to Kevin with some silly things. Someone recently said “What was he thinking!?” “Surely he wanted to just tell us to quit whining.” But they were thankful that he helped them navigate those teenage years. He maintained relationships with people long after they had moved on from the youth department and he was no longer the youth director here.
The fact that Kevin was no longer on staff did not keep him from serving the church. He embraced several leadership positions to which he devoted much time. And he had a way of incorporating his love for the church, the people, the community and sports. Most of his adult life was committed to Huffman whether it was youth, young adults, small groups, committees, VBS, The Children’s Place, or basketball and softball - the list goes on. Kevin O’Kelley’s fingerprints are all over the ministries of this church. And Kevin O’Kelley left his impression on the hearts of all of us gathered here.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Letter to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Part of an assignment in my Ethics class
Dear Dr. King:
I imagine you receive many letters giving you an update of civil rights in our country. Bishop White writes you each year on your birthday. He and other instructors have students write to you as well. I would love to be able to read all of these letters from people of all ages and cultures. An overview of the many different views would be the best measure of the current state of civil rights.
My view is skewed from the white perspective. I am a white female who was born and raised in Birmingham. Although I was born during the civil rights movement, I was too young to have any actual memories of the historical events of the city or the country. I was only a few months old when you wrote your letter from Birmingham City Jail. Most of what I know about the things you write comes from history lessons and not from personal experience. But I am sure you receive letters from people much younger than I who have an even further removed view of the incidents of the South in the 1960’s.
I work in downtown Birmingham, just down the street from the jail from which you wrote your letter. I am sorry to say that I pass the Civil Rights Museum and Sixteenth Street Baptist Church regularly, but I have never visited either. I have walked through Kelly Ingram Park and have seen the monuments to civil rights leaders. My firm’s office overlooks Linn Park between Birmingham City Hall and Jefferson County Courthouse. Looking out the window, you can see how much the city has changed since you wrote your letter.
People of many colors walk through the park daily. A diverse population lives and works in the downtown Birmingham area. For most of my life, since before I was old enough to vote, Birmingham has had an African-American mayor. The city council is a mix of male, female, Caucasian and African American. Although we have come a long way, we still have a long way to go to reaching your dream of a time when it would be recognized that all people should be treated equally.
There is still racial tension between blacks and whites in this city and throughout the country. It is a tension that pulls both ways. Too many whites fear, distrust and/or hate blacks. And too many black people have the same feelings toward white people. My own child was targeted at one point in her school because of her blond hair and blue eyes. Luckily, she attended a diverse school with strong leadership who handled the situation in such a way that she was able to be friends with some (but not all) of the black girls who had been previously taught to hate white people.
Of course, the world involves more than just black and white people. And this presents areas that reveal that we still have a long way to go in acceptance and tolerance. Questions regarding same gender marriage, transgender beauty pageant contestants and similar issues reveal society’s homophobic tendencies. Debate regarding immigration laws clearly shows deep prejudice regarding our Latino/Hispanic neighbors. Post 9/11 fears affect the way we treat our Muslim and Middle-Eastern neighbors.
Some would claim that because our country elected the first African-American president, we have overcome some great hurdle or milestone. However, President Obama’s diverse family tree and upbringing actually presents a multitude of bigotry issues. Whether they focus on the president’s African heritage, his biological father’s Islam connection, his childhood in Indonesia or comments from his former pastor, opponents frequently use hateful and often violent language, revealing the continued hatred from anyone who is not “just like us.”
So, Dr. King, this letter is one of good news and bad news. The good news is that you were very influential and we have made great progress with regard to civil rights. The bad news is that laws attempting to create equality will not cure prejudice and hatred. And as soon as one set of laws helps one group, there is another set of people with a new struggle to gain rights. Engraved on the Civil Rights Monument in Montgomery, Alabama is your paraphrase of Amos 5:24: We will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream. We still long for that day. If only we could set aside fear and hatred and replace them instead with God’s love, recognizing that we are all created in His image.
Your sister in Christ,
Dear Dr. King:
I imagine you receive many letters giving you an update of civil rights in our country. Bishop White writes you each year on your birthday. He and other instructors have students write to you as well. I would love to be able to read all of these letters from people of all ages and cultures. An overview of the many different views would be the best measure of the current state of civil rights.
My view is skewed from the white perspective. I am a white female who was born and raised in Birmingham. Although I was born during the civil rights movement, I was too young to have any actual memories of the historical events of the city or the country. I was only a few months old when you wrote your letter from Birmingham City Jail. Most of what I know about the things you write comes from history lessons and not from personal experience. But I am sure you receive letters from people much younger than I who have an even further removed view of the incidents of the South in the 1960’s.
I work in downtown Birmingham, just down the street from the jail from which you wrote your letter. I am sorry to say that I pass the Civil Rights Museum and Sixteenth Street Baptist Church regularly, but I have never visited either. I have walked through Kelly Ingram Park and have seen the monuments to civil rights leaders. My firm’s office overlooks Linn Park between Birmingham City Hall and Jefferson County Courthouse. Looking out the window, you can see how much the city has changed since you wrote your letter.
People of many colors walk through the park daily. A diverse population lives and works in the downtown Birmingham area. For most of my life, since before I was old enough to vote, Birmingham has had an African-American mayor. The city council is a mix of male, female, Caucasian and African American. Although we have come a long way, we still have a long way to go to reaching your dream of a time when it would be recognized that all people should be treated equally.
There is still racial tension between blacks and whites in this city and throughout the country. It is a tension that pulls both ways. Too many whites fear, distrust and/or hate blacks. And too many black people have the same feelings toward white people. My own child was targeted at one point in her school because of her blond hair and blue eyes. Luckily, she attended a diverse school with strong leadership who handled the situation in such a way that she was able to be friends with some (but not all) of the black girls who had been previously taught to hate white people.
Of course, the world involves more than just black and white people. And this presents areas that reveal that we still have a long way to go in acceptance and tolerance. Questions regarding same gender marriage, transgender beauty pageant contestants and similar issues reveal society’s homophobic tendencies. Debate regarding immigration laws clearly shows deep prejudice regarding our Latino/Hispanic neighbors. Post 9/11 fears affect the way we treat our Muslim and Middle-Eastern neighbors.
Some would claim that because our country elected the first African-American president, we have overcome some great hurdle or milestone. However, President Obama’s diverse family tree and upbringing actually presents a multitude of bigotry issues. Whether they focus on the president’s African heritage, his biological father’s Islam connection, his childhood in Indonesia or comments from his former pastor, opponents frequently use hateful and often violent language, revealing the continued hatred from anyone who is not “just like us.”
So, Dr. King, this letter is one of good news and bad news. The good news is that you were very influential and we have made great progress with regard to civil rights. The bad news is that laws attempting to create equality will not cure prejudice and hatred. And as soon as one set of laws helps one group, there is another set of people with a new struggle to gain rights. Engraved on the Civil Rights Monument in Montgomery, Alabama is your paraphrase of Amos 5:24: We will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream. We still long for that day. If only we could set aside fear and hatred and replace them instead with God’s love, recognizing that we are all created in His image.
Your sister in Christ,
Friday, August 27, 2010
When you don't get the answers, change the questions
I must be in the mood for a change. Maybe I am being prepared for a change. Last week I thought about how a little change can do you good. Then this week I saw something about change that caught my attention.
In a post on a United Methodist group page, clergy coach Val Hastings challenged readers to “Change Your Questions, Change Your Church.” He had heard a statement on the radio that had caught his attention. History changed when a single question changed; when we stopped asking, "How do we get to the water?" and started asking, "How do we get the water to us?" What a significant turn for human beings.
Hastings thought about how this relates to ministry. How would our churches change if churches were to change our questions?
This reminded me a lot of a class I took earlier this year. The instructor was enthusiastic that we need to change our slogan from re-thinking church to unthinking church. The required texts for the course and presentations during the course suggested that we need to change the questions we ask about church and our plans in order to move toward the future with more effective ideas. Traditional church growth and development strategies no longer work for the 21st century church and we must be prepared to make changes or be prepared to watch the institution of the church continue to become irrelevant in our culture.
God is always calling us to be more than we have been. If we change our questions, can we open new possibilities? Are we being called to redefine the mission and life of the church? Are we ready to change?
What needs to change? The basic mission of the church has not changed, but the means by which we carry out that mission have to change because the methods we currently use are in many ways no longer effective. The challenge is for the church to move in innovative ways without losing our values.
We constantly hear people lament over the current state of the church. We read reports and articles on the decline of Christianity (and religion in general). Leaders worry over the decline in denominational membership. People see the growing population who claim no church affiliation as an insurmountable obstacle. But the mission is not impossible. Our biggest obstacles may not be the ambiguous society, but our own church structure and our resistance to change. Change the questions. There are many questions that should be changed. We could start by reversing the water question. Stop asking, "How do we get people to church?" and start asking "How do we get to people?"
In a post on a United Methodist group page, clergy coach Val Hastings challenged readers to “Change Your Questions, Change Your Church.” He had heard a statement on the radio that had caught his attention. History changed when a single question changed; when we stopped asking, "How do we get to the water?" and started asking, "How do we get the water to us?" What a significant turn for human beings.
Hastings thought about how this relates to ministry. How would our churches change if churches were to change our questions?
This reminded me a lot of a class I took earlier this year. The instructor was enthusiastic that we need to change our slogan from re-thinking church to unthinking church. The required texts for the course and presentations during the course suggested that we need to change the questions we ask about church and our plans in order to move toward the future with more effective ideas. Traditional church growth and development strategies no longer work for the 21st century church and we must be prepared to make changes or be prepared to watch the institution of the church continue to become irrelevant in our culture.
God is always calling us to be more than we have been. If we change our questions, can we open new possibilities? Are we being called to redefine the mission and life of the church? Are we ready to change?
What needs to change? The basic mission of the church has not changed, but the means by which we carry out that mission have to change because the methods we currently use are in many ways no longer effective. The challenge is for the church to move in innovative ways without losing our values.
We constantly hear people lament over the current state of the church. We read reports and articles on the decline of Christianity (and religion in general). Leaders worry over the decline in denominational membership. People see the growing population who claim no church affiliation as an insurmountable obstacle. But the mission is not impossible. Our biggest obstacles may not be the ambiguous society, but our own church structure and our resistance to change. Change the questions. There are many questions that should be changed. We could start by reversing the water question. Stop asking, "How do we get people to church?" and start asking "How do we get to people?"
Friday, August 20, 2010
a little change will do you good
There is an old proverb that says change is the only constant. Another reminds us that “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” Robert C. Gallagher said “Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.” Life is all about change. We fear change when we are unsure what that change will bring. We want change when we think it is a change for the better. We elected a president who campaigned on hope and change. Wait. That could lead this post in an entirely different direction. Let us change back to my original thought.
I am part of a denominational system where the clergy change churches several (many) times. This dates back to the circuit riders of our early church. Pastors travelled on horseback around defined circuits. After a year or two, they would be assigned to a different circuit. This rotation of appointments has continued. One would think that our congregations would be accustomed to change. While the clergy may be used to changing churches and churches adapt to changing preachers, other changes do not occur so easily. Resistance to change is not limited to the church.
I will admit I find great comfort in the familiar. Next month will be the 22nd anniversary of my employment with the law firm. I don’t upgrade my cell phone every 2 years just because I can. I don’t like the idea of changing just for the sake of change, but I do like to see progress. Change in the right direction is exciting. I try to adapt. I hate to say or hear “but we’ve always done it this way.”
I would hate to think I had to type legal documents using a typewriter and carbon paper. Although I don’t go that far back, I have seen many changes in the way things are done. When I get frustrated with the many drafts and changes to a document, I try to be thankful that I am doing this on a computer and most of the drafts are being emailed back and forth. How much paper was wasted as we printed out drafts that were marked up for edits to be re-typed? As we have changed, we have cut down on waste. Documents are e-filed instead. No printed copy to be delivered to a courthouse to be filed and hard copies distributed to all parties. Trial presentation evolved from select items being enlarged on foam board to having most, if not all, documents scanned to the computer and ready to be projected to screens or monitors in the courtroom. Change can be a good thing.
There are so many possibilities today. So why is worship often boring and predictable? Worship is not supposed to be just something we do out of habit. It is not supposed to be just going through the motions. This does not mean we have to do something outrageous just to get attention or draw a crowd. The message has not changed, but the world has changed and we need to find new ways to present the message.
When my great-grandparents travelled from the Britain to North America, they crossed the Atlantic via ship. I fly Delta. Same journey. Different means of transportation.
Let’s think about ways we can change things up. Change can be exciting. Change can bring progress.
I am part of a denominational system where the clergy change churches several (many) times. This dates back to the circuit riders of our early church. Pastors travelled on horseback around defined circuits. After a year or two, they would be assigned to a different circuit. This rotation of appointments has continued. One would think that our congregations would be accustomed to change. While the clergy may be used to changing churches and churches adapt to changing preachers, other changes do not occur so easily. Resistance to change is not limited to the church.
I will admit I find great comfort in the familiar. Next month will be the 22nd anniversary of my employment with the law firm. I don’t upgrade my cell phone every 2 years just because I can. I don’t like the idea of changing just for the sake of change, but I do like to see progress. Change in the right direction is exciting. I try to adapt. I hate to say or hear “but we’ve always done it this way.”
I would hate to think I had to type legal documents using a typewriter and carbon paper. Although I don’t go that far back, I have seen many changes in the way things are done. When I get frustrated with the many drafts and changes to a document, I try to be thankful that I am doing this on a computer and most of the drafts are being emailed back and forth. How much paper was wasted as we printed out drafts that were marked up for edits to be re-typed? As we have changed, we have cut down on waste. Documents are e-filed instead. No printed copy to be delivered to a courthouse to be filed and hard copies distributed to all parties. Trial presentation evolved from select items being enlarged on foam board to having most, if not all, documents scanned to the computer and ready to be projected to screens or monitors in the courtroom. Change can be a good thing.
There are so many possibilities today. So why is worship often boring and predictable? Worship is not supposed to be just something we do out of habit. It is not supposed to be just going through the motions. This does not mean we have to do something outrageous just to get attention or draw a crowd. The message has not changed, but the world has changed and we need to find new ways to present the message.
When my great-grandparents travelled from the Britain to North America, they crossed the Atlantic via ship. I fly Delta. Same journey. Different means of transportation.
Let’s think about ways we can change things up. Change can be exciting. Change can bring progress.
Monday, June 28, 2010
wow has it really been that long?
I did not realize it had been so long since I had posted anything here. After tossing around several possibilities, I have been appointed to Huffman UMC. It is kind of like moving home after college or something, but the team is back together.
VBS at Moody, followed by moving week, followed by VBS at Huffman then working a Walk to Emmaus has me pretty worn out. It has also created a huge pile of stuff on my desk. During WTE, I gave up the disorganization and clutter that keeps me from being effective, so I am confident that I will blog more often.
Of course, since I gave up disorganization, I have managed to misplace my watch. I guess it will take more than tearing off a piece of bread and saying that I want less clutter.
VBS at Moody, followed by moving week, followed by VBS at Huffman then working a Walk to Emmaus has me pretty worn out. It has also created a huge pile of stuff on my desk. During WTE, I gave up the disorganization and clutter that keeps me from being effective, so I am confident that I will blog more often.
Of course, since I gave up disorganization, I have managed to misplace my watch. I guess it will take more than tearing off a piece of bread and saying that I want less clutter.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
a little change will do you good
Although part of the crossroads question has been answered, there are many questions remaining. I know there are changes ahead for me. I just don't know exactly what those changes will be. So I have been thinking about change.
Today I was reading change your pew change your perspective by Genikwa Williams (http://www..sojo.net/2010/02/25/change-you-pew-change-your-perspective/). First, I thought it would be so cool to show up to church and it be so crowded you couldn't sit in your normal spot. Then I found it interesting that she said that she worshipped God with her whole body, because that goes along with the Praise Party lessons we have been using in our children's ministries. But then I thought about a couple in our church. A couple of weeks ago, I received a text which asked me to give them a message. I did not see them in what I thought was their normal spot during the greeting time. When I got to the pulpit for the pastoral prayer, I saw them on the other side of the church. I later mentioned this to another member, who responded something along the lines of: "Oh they move around from spot to spot so they can pray for each section."
I will miss people like that when I am moved to another church. But being reminded that sometimes we have to move to let God move in us is confirmation that moving is the right thing to do.
So I stand in the crossroads knowing that I will be taking a different road and I wait to see which road it is.
Today I was reading change your pew change your perspective by Genikwa Williams (http://www..sojo.net/2010/02/25/change-you-pew-change-your-perspective/). First, I thought it would be so cool to show up to church and it be so crowded you couldn't sit in your normal spot. Then I found it interesting that she said that she worshipped God with her whole body, because that goes along with the Praise Party lessons we have been using in our children's ministries. But then I thought about a couple in our church. A couple of weeks ago, I received a text which asked me to give them a message. I did not see them in what I thought was their normal spot during the greeting time. When I got to the pulpit for the pastoral prayer, I saw them on the other side of the church. I later mentioned this to another member, who responded something along the lines of: "Oh they move around from spot to spot so they can pray for each section."
I will miss people like that when I am moved to another church. But being reminded that sometimes we have to move to let God move in us is confirmation that moving is the right thing to do.
So I stand in the crossroads knowing that I will be taking a different road and I wait to see which road it is.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Standing at the Crossroads
I entered the clergy exploration process because I felt like I was supposed to do something more than I had been doing.
I moved on to the candidacy program and prepared for school because I felt I needed more training and education to improve the work I had been doing with youth ministries.
Someone recently observed that it seamed like I was looking for something and someone pointed out an open spot on a ferris wheel and I started going around.
I worked with youth and wanted to do more.
I got "educated" and worked with youth and young adults.
Then someone made some decisions and I was moved off to be an associated pastor.
Then other people made decisions and decided I could be a children's minister. I kept saying I did not think I could be a children's minister. They must have thought I was trying to trick them. The more I protested, the deeper into children's ministry they pushed me.
"I can't swim" I shouted.
"Sure you can." they said. "We will throw you in the deep end and you will have to learn to swim. We will hold your head under the water and you will have to learn to get to the surface."
Just when I thought was going to really drown, I jumped out and found myself at an intersection. I asked friends which way they thought I should go.
None of the people who know me best thought I should jump back in the children's ministry pool.
Funny - none of the people who know me best suggested I jump into youth ministry.
One person seems to think I should just get off the ferris wheel.
(I realize this is a crazy place if I am on a ferris wheel in a pool at an intersection. But this is my story and it feels that crazy right now.)
So I am standing here trying to figure out which way to go.
I'll let you know when I figure it out.
I moved on to the candidacy program and prepared for school because I felt I needed more training and education to improve the work I had been doing with youth ministries.
Someone recently observed that it seamed like I was looking for something and someone pointed out an open spot on a ferris wheel and I started going around.
I worked with youth and wanted to do more.
I got "educated" and worked with youth and young adults.
Then someone made some decisions and I was moved off to be an associated pastor.
Then other people made decisions and decided I could be a children's minister. I kept saying I did not think I could be a children's minister. They must have thought I was trying to trick them. The more I protested, the deeper into children's ministry they pushed me.
"I can't swim" I shouted.
"Sure you can." they said. "We will throw you in the deep end and you will have to learn to swim. We will hold your head under the water and you will have to learn to get to the surface."
Just when I thought was going to really drown, I jumped out and found myself at an intersection. I asked friends which way they thought I should go.
None of the people who know me best thought I should jump back in the children's ministry pool.
Funny - none of the people who know me best suggested I jump into youth ministry.
One person seems to think I should just get off the ferris wheel.
(I realize this is a crazy place if I am on a ferris wheel in a pool at an intersection. But this is my story and it feels that crazy right now.)
So I am standing here trying to figure out which way to go.
I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
One week ago today we buried my mother. Sherri did an excellent job of remembering and celebrating her life. There was laughter. There were tears. Many friends gathered that morning or had come to visit or call the night before. So many people expressing their love and respect for my mother or for our family.
One month ago we were told my mother's condition was greatly improved. Her labs were within normal range. She would be monitored and have maintenance therapy. So you can imagine the shock when she took a sudden and extreme turn for the worse. Once she took that turn it began a racing downward spiral.
In the two weeks prior to her death, Mother was able to see all of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She also got to see many other family members and friends.
The memories many have shared with us have been comforting. The love her sisters showed in her final days should inspire us all. I post this photo to remind us all of the true love shared for over six decades.
The example of the marriage that my parents set really set a high standard. I do not claim it to be perfect. I imagine they had passed some of the hardest struggles by the time I came along. The years I witnessed were probably the ones after they had established the bonds of coming through difficult times and emerging stronger on the other side. (I do not know of any specific problems, but I cannot imagine that having 3 children in 3 years didn't create a little conflict.) I have often said that I never remarried because it was hard to imagine anyone working hard enough to meet the standard set by my parents' example. (and I had not found anyone who could take care of me as well as my parents have all of these years)
I may keep a copy of this photo to use when I counsel couples before they marry. Are you willing to sit with this person day and night, never leaving their side? Will you hold their hand will they are sick?
When you wonder why I take marriage so seriously that I will not enter into it without much consideration, remember this picture and the love in which I was raised.
And as one friend pointed out - this is a beautiful picture of a true love between two humans. Imagine how much more God loves us.
Love to you all.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
many thoughts, but so little time to blog
i must admit that after having another pastor "tattle" to someone about my blog and my comments on a friends blog, i have been hesitant to post my most honest thoughts. this cautiousness, coupled with a busy schedule, has kept me from sharing my thoughts with you.
so why do i have so little time? what is so different in the last year or so that i cannot find time to complete baby blankets i started making? or find time to practice the guitar? how do other people have time to play farmville and farm town and mafia wars and yoville and all the other games on fb when i can barely find the time to update my status and read those of my friends? don't i have the same 24 hours that everyone else has?
in a recent class, we had a pretend wesleyan class meeting. when it came time to confess my sin (an optional part of the experiment), i first confessed that i would have never been allowed to be a part of john wesley's class society because being punctual was a requirement. then i confessed that i am not a good steward of the time with with i have been blessed. so my prayer is that i can be disciplined enough to use my time wisely. i guess you better pray for me too because i should actually be working right now and instead i am posting on my blog.
so i will sign off for now to go try to accomplish something with my time.
so why do i have so little time? what is so different in the last year or so that i cannot find time to complete baby blankets i started making? or find time to practice the guitar? how do other people have time to play farmville and farm town and mafia wars and yoville and all the other games on fb when i can barely find the time to update my status and read those of my friends? don't i have the same 24 hours that everyone else has?
in a recent class, we had a pretend wesleyan class meeting. when it came time to confess my sin (an optional part of the experiment), i first confessed that i would have never been allowed to be a part of john wesley's class society because being punctual was a requirement. then i confessed that i am not a good steward of the time with with i have been blessed. so my prayer is that i can be disciplined enough to use my time wisely. i guess you better pray for me too because i should actually be working right now and instead i am posting on my blog.
so i will sign off for now to go try to accomplish something with my time.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I really have a lot to do but feel this must be said
TV, blogs, Facebook, emails, everywhere everyone has something to say about health care reform. Most of the facts have been twisted. It does not really matter. No one is really listening to their opposition. Just a bunch of people yelling at each other - not really communicating. Through Sojourners and Jim Wallis, I signed the following creed which was forwarded to my senator/congressman. I believe that when it was forwarded it indicated that I am a pastor. So of course when the senator and congressman sent their form letter in reply to the church address, they were sent to MR. Donna Godwin. Says a lot doesn't it. Anyway, no matter what side of the debate you may fall, please consider A Christian Creed to Health-Care Reform:
As one of God's children, I believe that protecting the health of each human being is a profoundly important personal and communal responsibility for people of faith.I believe God created each person in the divine image to be spiritually and physically healthy. I feel the pain of sickness and disease in our broken world (Genesis 1:27, Romans 8:22).
I believe life and healing are core tenets of the Christian life. Christ's ministry included physical healing, and we are called to participate in God's new creation as instruments of healing and redemption (Matthew 4:23, Luke 9:1-6; Mark 7:32-35, Acts 10:38). Our nation should strive to ensure all people have access to life-giving treatments and care.
I believe, as taught by the Hebrew prophets and Jesus, that the measure of a society is seen in how it treats the most vulnerable. The current discussion about health-care reform is important for the United States to move toward a more just system of providing care to all people (Isaiah 1:16-17, Jeremiah 7:5-7, Matthew 25:31-45).
I believe that all people have a moral obligation to tell the truth. To serve the common good of our entire nation, all parties debating reform should tell the truth and refrain from distorting facts or using fear-based messaging (Leviticus 19:11; Ephesians 4:14-15, 25; Proverbs 6:16-19).
I believe that Christians should seek to bring health and well-being (shalom) to the society into which God has placed us, for a healthy society benefits all members (Jeremiah 29:7).
I believe in a time when all will live long and healthy lives, from infancy to old age (Isaiah 65:20), and "mourning and crying and pain will be no more" (Revelation 21:4). My heart breaks for my brothers and sisters who watch their loved ones suffer, or who suffer themselves, because they cannot afford a trip to the doctor. I stand with them in their suffering.
I believe health-care reform must rest on a foundation of values that affirm each and every life as a sacred gift from the Creator (Genesis 2:7).Amen.
As one of God's children, I believe that protecting the health of each human being is a profoundly important personal and communal responsibility for people of faith.I believe God created each person in the divine image to be spiritually and physically healthy. I feel the pain of sickness and disease in our broken world (Genesis 1:27, Romans 8:22).
I believe life and healing are core tenets of the Christian life. Christ's ministry included physical healing, and we are called to participate in God's new creation as instruments of healing and redemption (Matthew 4:23, Luke 9:1-6; Mark 7:32-35, Acts 10:38). Our nation should strive to ensure all people have access to life-giving treatments and care.
I believe, as taught by the Hebrew prophets and Jesus, that the measure of a society is seen in how it treats the most vulnerable. The current discussion about health-care reform is important for the United States to move toward a more just system of providing care to all people (Isaiah 1:16-17, Jeremiah 7:5-7, Matthew 25:31-45).
I believe that all people have a moral obligation to tell the truth. To serve the common good of our entire nation, all parties debating reform should tell the truth and refrain from distorting facts or using fear-based messaging (Leviticus 19:11; Ephesians 4:14-15, 25; Proverbs 6:16-19).
I believe that Christians should seek to bring health and well-being (shalom) to the society into which God has placed us, for a healthy society benefits all members (Jeremiah 29:7).
I believe in a time when all will live long and healthy lives, from infancy to old age (Isaiah 65:20), and "mourning and crying and pain will be no more" (Revelation 21:4). My heart breaks for my brothers and sisters who watch their loved ones suffer, or who suffer themselves, because they cannot afford a trip to the doctor. I stand with them in their suffering.
I believe health-care reform must rest on a foundation of values that affirm each and every life as a sacred gift from the Creator (Genesis 2:7).Amen.
Monday, May 18, 2009
I guess I'm back
I realize I am not faithful to post to this blog on a regular basis, but it seems like is has been a really long time since I have been here. Easter, trials, appendectomy, recovery at a location with no Internet and then trying to get caught up all contributed to this extended absence.
My recent surgery and recovery kind of leads me to this title. While I was sick, in the hospital and then recovering, so very many people were kind enough to help me. People did things for me. Everyone want me to rest. People were concerned that I would try to do too much; push myself too hard. No one wanted to stress me. No one wanted to bother me. If the office needed to contact me, they started out with "I hate to bother you, but..." When I returned to the office part time, people would be concerned that I might try to do more than I was ready to do. Everyone was so nice.
By the end of the week, I guess they assumed that I needed to be back to my old self. Suddenly is was "we need this mass email to go out" "we need this project handled" "my computer locked up; can you tell me how to fix it" "can you come look at this?" "can you cover this for me?" "Mom, please come rescue me", etc. You get the idea. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate being needed. A lot of these quotes give me job security. I like to be helpful. But I will say that I am soooo tired today.
So dear family and co-workers, can we please find the balance between babying me and expecting me to run a marathon? I'm back, but not all the way back. Thanks.
My recent surgery and recovery kind of leads me to this title. While I was sick, in the hospital and then recovering, so very many people were kind enough to help me. People did things for me. Everyone want me to rest. People were concerned that I would try to do too much; push myself too hard. No one wanted to stress me. No one wanted to bother me. If the office needed to contact me, they started out with "I hate to bother you, but..." When I returned to the office part time, people would be concerned that I might try to do more than I was ready to do. Everyone was so nice.
By the end of the week, I guess they assumed that I needed to be back to my old self. Suddenly is was "we need this mass email to go out" "we need this project handled" "my computer locked up; can you tell me how to fix it" "can you come look at this?" "can you cover this for me?" "Mom, please come rescue me", etc. You get the idea. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate being needed. A lot of these quotes give me job security. I like to be helpful. But I will say that I am soooo tired today.
So dear family and co-workers, can we please find the balance between babying me and expecting me to run a marathon? I'm back, but not all the way back. Thanks.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
are you guilty of being the older brother?
Today I read a blog by Tony Campolo entitled “I’m the Older Brother.” (which can be found at http://blog.sojo.net/2009/03/24/im-the-older-brother/ if you would like to read more than the excerpts I address below.)
In his blog, Campolo admits that with regard to President Obama’s stimulus package and its provisions to help those Americans who are having great difficulty paying their home mortgages, he has come to realize that he is like the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son.
(in case you need reminding, younger brother takes his share of their father’s wealth, spends it all irresponsibly, then returns home to ask for a job on his father’s farm. But instead of giving him a job, his father runs out to meet him, welcomes him home and throws a party. Older brother is angry. He resents that he worked hard for his father for many years, and now the money he helped earn is being spent on the brother who was wasteful. Campolo points out that we can almost hear the older brother saying, “This brother of mine was irresponsible in the way he lived and spent his money, so why should he now get the benefits of money that I helped earn through my hard work, day in and day out?”
Then Campolo admits that this is much the same attitude that he and many conservative brothers and sisters, have had in reaction to President Obama’s announcement that taxpayers’ dollars, earned by hard-working, responsible citizens, would be given to help those irresponsible Americans who bought houses that they couldn't afford, while embracing a lifestyle that was beyond their means. This is a very good comparison. Campolo goes on to say that many people now sound like that older brother in Jesus’ story, and call for those irresponsible spenders to get what they deserve. With an air of self-righteous indignation, we declare, “They didn’t do what’s right and now we’re being asked to rescue them from the financial mess they’ve created for themselves!”
Campolo reminds us that the gospel is about grace and we all know that grace is about us receiving from God blessings that we don’t deserve. But many are reluctant to extend that grace to others.
In several incidents recently, I have noticed that people – especially Christians - have problems extending grace to others. Because of this, Christians often give Christianity a bad name. We preach about grace. We declare a God of second (and third and fourth, etc) chances. Yet we do not give people a second chance. We often fail to even give the first chance. Our mouths say we seek to reach the lost and bring them back to God. But our actions (or reactions) say that you shouldn’t have gotten lost in the first place and if you are not like us we will not be comfortable worshipping with you. We claim to share a message of “Hey, I am a sinner just like you because we have all fallen short of the glory of God. Evangelism is just one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread.” But the message others actually receive is “Yuck. Are you kidding? If you have made any error in judgment or fallen short it any way we want to see you punished. After you’ve jumped through our hoops, we might consider throwing you some crumbs.”
Maybe you’re outraged at a stimulus package or resentful of social services or irritated by the way someone dresses at church or disgusted that someone does not know a church ritual or reluctant to forgive someone, or all of the above and more. Ask yourself: Am I the older brother? Am I reluctant to extend the grace I have received to my brother (or sister)?
In his blog, Campolo admits that with regard to President Obama’s stimulus package and its provisions to help those Americans who are having great difficulty paying their home mortgages, he has come to realize that he is like the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son.
(in case you need reminding, younger brother takes his share of their father’s wealth, spends it all irresponsibly, then returns home to ask for a job on his father’s farm. But instead of giving him a job, his father runs out to meet him, welcomes him home and throws a party. Older brother is angry. He resents that he worked hard for his father for many years, and now the money he helped earn is being spent on the brother who was wasteful. Campolo points out that we can almost hear the older brother saying, “This brother of mine was irresponsible in the way he lived and spent his money, so why should he now get the benefits of money that I helped earn through my hard work, day in and day out?”
Then Campolo admits that this is much the same attitude that he and many conservative brothers and sisters, have had in reaction to President Obama’s announcement that taxpayers’ dollars, earned by hard-working, responsible citizens, would be given to help those irresponsible Americans who bought houses that they couldn't afford, while embracing a lifestyle that was beyond their means. This is a very good comparison. Campolo goes on to say that many people now sound like that older brother in Jesus’ story, and call for those irresponsible spenders to get what they deserve. With an air of self-righteous indignation, we declare, “They didn’t do what’s right and now we’re being asked to rescue them from the financial mess they’ve created for themselves!”
Campolo reminds us that the gospel is about grace and we all know that grace is about us receiving from God blessings that we don’t deserve. But many are reluctant to extend that grace to others.
In several incidents recently, I have noticed that people – especially Christians - have problems extending grace to others. Because of this, Christians often give Christianity a bad name. We preach about grace. We declare a God of second (and third and fourth, etc) chances. Yet we do not give people a second chance. We often fail to even give the first chance. Our mouths say we seek to reach the lost and bring them back to God. But our actions (or reactions) say that you shouldn’t have gotten lost in the first place and if you are not like us we will not be comfortable worshipping with you. We claim to share a message of “Hey, I am a sinner just like you because we have all fallen short of the glory of God. Evangelism is just one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread.” But the message others actually receive is “Yuck. Are you kidding? If you have made any error in judgment or fallen short it any way we want to see you punished. After you’ve jumped through our hoops, we might consider throwing you some crumbs.”
Maybe you’re outraged at a stimulus package or resentful of social services or irritated by the way someone dresses at church or disgusted that someone does not know a church ritual or reluctant to forgive someone, or all of the above and more. Ask yourself: Am I the older brother? Am I reluctant to extend the grace I have received to my brother (or sister)?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
what I really think
this morning I wanted to do announcements and say something I had been thinking. all the way to church I thought about how I would say it. but when I arrived at church, a realization of the changing times welcomed me.
For a year and a half I have thought that I could afford to be the one who to challenge the church. after all, my livelihood does not depend on the church paycheck. if I was the one to honestly assess a situation and said assessment angered the congregation, I could afford to be run off. But today was the the beginning of a change. Well a change that will last for at least the next couple of months.
Tim offered to do announcements and address a situation. He reasoned that he would be leaving in a couple of months and he could afford to say the possibly unpopular things. What unwelcome announcement could we possibly need to make?
Well, last night was the youth fundraiser - a St. Paddy's Day Party/Dance. Money raised will be used for the youth mission project. Last week the church council included a long discussion on how we need to have programming for the youth. People commented on the importance of youth ministry. But last night the only people who showed up for the fundraiser were people associated with youth.
I was proud to have a good youth representation. (a concern since it was the beginning of Spring break) I was thankful for the parents and grandparents who helped prepare for the party. The new youth director and family worked hard on an event they kind of inherited because it was planned before they came on board. I appreciate the people who came on Friday to set up sound and decorate. The people who came out Friday for set up and those who attended the party on Saturday all seemed to have a good time.
Although there was certainly for which to be thankful, I couldn't help but wonder where all those people who just a few days earlier had talked about the importance of youth ministry. Where were the people whose presence could have sent a message to the youth that the congregation supported them? Where was the desire to fellowship with one another?
I really wanted to stand up and tell these people of my disappointment. I wanted to tell them that they needed to back up their words with their actions. I wanted to say this is the first church I had ever known where the people only supported a cause if they reaped some benefit. They only attend an event if they have some personal interest in the particular ministry. Can't they see that they should have a personal interest in every ministry of their church?
But Tim set out to protect me from my own mouth. Instead I stood in the back and kept Dustin from burning down the church while Tim told everyone what a good time they missed. Pictures of all the fun scrolled across the screen (eventually) while Tim described the excellent potato bar, lively music and fun missed by those who failed to come out to support the youth fundraiser. He reminded the congregation of how much youth would enjoy interaction with other generations. He reminded them of the importance of showing support.
And so once again only a few will know what I really think. Because I am learning that maybe I do not always have to be the one who says what I think.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
the post that tells you nothing
This has been a crazy year. The more I resolve to post more regularly, the harder it seems to do so. I am having wireless issues and time issues and posting to the blog or even checking what my friends have blogged has been difficult. But here I am with another baby step making an effort.
Maybe all the hurdles have been God's way of making sure I have not been able to post something I would regret. You may find this hard to believe, gentle readers, but there are people who will criticize you speak your mind. Some are honest enough to comment and provide their names. and then there's always Anonymous. Or perhaps they will not even comment on your blog, but instead call someone who knows you and express their "concern" about what you have written.
You see, a lot has happened on which I have an opinion, but it is probably best not to share that opinion with everyone. That is very funny because I am so often accused of being brutally honest and too blunt. People assume I just say everything that jumps in my mind. (and often I do speak/write without thinking) If the things I say shock people, what would they do if they knew the things I think, but don't say?
First round of appointments were proposed this week. A lot of pastors moving around. I don't know all of them yet. Some may change after the second round. I do know that I will be working with someone new. Still waiting to learn about them. Appointment time. One of those times it might be best not to say everything that jumps in your head.
That may be one of the hardest parts about being clergy. You have to be careful how much information and opinion you share. Some clergy never even share what team they support. all you have to do is see my car and you know that I don't keep that a secret. Some advise you not to indicate which way you lean politically. I really try on that one because I can see where that would be divisive. but most people can figure that out about me also. You have to be really careful not to take sides when there is disagreement among church folk. Well that is a full time job because church people often disagree.
So here I am posting without really saying anything and thinking for all the times I hear "you would not believe what Donna said" I would like to say "No - you would not believe what I really wanted to say."
Maybe all the hurdles have been God's way of making sure I have not been able to post something I would regret. You may find this hard to believe, gentle readers, but there are people who will criticize you speak your mind. Some are honest enough to comment and provide their names. and then there's always Anonymous. Or perhaps they will not even comment on your blog, but instead call someone who knows you and express their "concern" about what you have written.
You see, a lot has happened on which I have an opinion, but it is probably best not to share that opinion with everyone. That is very funny because I am so often accused of being brutally honest and too blunt. People assume I just say everything that jumps in my mind. (and often I do speak/write without thinking) If the things I say shock people, what would they do if they knew the things I think, but don't say?
First round of appointments were proposed this week. A lot of pastors moving around. I don't know all of them yet. Some may change after the second round. I do know that I will be working with someone new. Still waiting to learn about them. Appointment time. One of those times it might be best not to say everything that jumps in your head.
That may be one of the hardest parts about being clergy. You have to be careful how much information and opinion you share. Some clergy never even share what team they support. all you have to do is see my car and you know that I don't keep that a secret. Some advise you not to indicate which way you lean politically. I really try on that one because I can see where that would be divisive. but most people can figure that out about me also. You have to be really careful not to take sides when there is disagreement among church folk. Well that is a full time job because church people often disagree.
So here I am posting without really saying anything and thinking for all the times I hear "you would not believe what Donna said" I would like to say "No - you would not believe what I really wanted to say."
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
This has been a busy week and today is a big day
I started the week with a great worship service. Noted the observance of MLK Jr. Day, Human Relations Day, historic inauguration, baptized two people, got to see a bunch of friends. After worship several people complimented the service - baptisms and anointing were special. People said the sermon went well. I noted that it is easier to do well when you have a crowd that loves you and wants you to do well. Nice start to the week.
Which brings us to today. Historic because we have a new president. Funny because news commentators noted as Bush flew out of Washington that everyone was cheering - some in support, others because they were happy to see him leave. Hopeful because so many people wish our new president well. But all of these national events are not the only big events of the day.
Today we welcome Lillee Jo and Steven Coy to the world. I am leaving to go meet them, so this post will be short.
I just wanted to post a hopeful blog for these new beginnings. It is the beginning of the year (still in the first month). Baptism is the initiation to the church. Inauguration marks the beginning of a new presidency. And birth is definitely a beginning of new life and the certainly the beginning of a new way of life for the family. May God bless all of these new beginnings.
Which brings us to today. Historic because we have a new president. Funny because news commentators noted as Bush flew out of Washington that everyone was cheering - some in support, others because they were happy to see him leave. Hopeful because so many people wish our new president well. But all of these national events are not the only big events of the day.
Today we welcome Lillee Jo and Steven Coy to the world. I am leaving to go meet them, so this post will be short.
I just wanted to post a hopeful blog for these new beginnings. It is the beginning of the year (still in the first month). Baptism is the initiation to the church. Inauguration marks the beginning of a new presidency. And birth is definitely a beginning of new life and the certainly the beginning of a new way of life for the family. May God bless all of these new beginnings.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I really am alive
I will not even bother to list all of my excuses for having neglected posting. I know that most of you who read my blog know how crazy things have been lately. I don't know that things will be any less crazy, but I guess one of my resolutions for 2009 will be to try to be more consistant with posting to the blog. Of course, I do not usually make New Year's resolutions.
I have been lucky enough to see many of my friends more in the last month than I had been able to see them in a while. Football, Christmas events and a baby shower presented several opportunities to catch up. Since several people mentioned that they try to keep up with me by reading this blog, I determined I should do a better job of posting.
Christmas was great. I am lucky enough to get to see my family during the holidays. We had fun. Church events went smoothly. Overall a very merry Christmas.
My goal is to get organized so I can get more accomplished in 2009. I have enjoyed seeing the WEEDs over the past month and would like to try to get together more often. LEGS had a nice turnout for our Christmas party and I would like to carry that momentum into 2009.
Hmm. I am taking baby steps at blogging again. Don't have time to say much, but I did want to wish everyone a wonderful 2009.
I have been lucky enough to see many of my friends more in the last month than I had been able to see them in a while. Football, Christmas events and a baby shower presented several opportunities to catch up. Since several people mentioned that they try to keep up with me by reading this blog, I determined I should do a better job of posting.
Christmas was great. I am lucky enough to get to see my family during the holidays. We had fun. Church events went smoothly. Overall a very merry Christmas.
My goal is to get organized so I can get more accomplished in 2009. I have enjoyed seeing the WEEDs over the past month and would like to try to get together more often. LEGS had a nice turnout for our Christmas party and I would like to carry that momentum into 2009.
Hmm. I am taking baby steps at blogging again. Don't have time to say much, but I did want to wish everyone a wonderful 2009.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
In case you wondered - I am still alive
Wow! What a time to be too busy to post. It has been a crazy few weeks. After a fairly slow trial year, I am spending the last couple of months in back-to-back trials. That means that in addition to my church work, for the last several weeks I have been in trial prep or in trial. Last week I was in Florence for a trial. On the historic election night when I would have loved to have been out celebrating, I was in a hotel room getting ready for the next day of trial. I stayed on the phone with Alicia for over an hour while she stood in line to vote. She needed someone sensible to talk to as she sensed she was the only blue dot in line. I had celebratory phone calls, text messages and email. Those blue dot friends of mine getting in touch to share some of the excitement. It was a big night. Then it was back to work.
Work turned out well. Of course the local papers were quick to report that the defendant would appeal the almost $2.3 Million verdict. Because of said appeal, the client will not see any money for a long time. But it is still fun to win. And several of us went out to celebrate. It was a big night. Then it was back to work.
I had class at Huntingdon this week. On Friday I drove back from Florence, dropped my equipment off at the office, re-organized and headed to Montgomery. Friday night and all day Saturday I sat in class. By afternoon I was texting to get football scores and sharing them with the class. It was good to have an Auburn win. The other game was exciting. It was a big night. Then it was back to work.
One of the Sunday school teachers notified us she would not make it. I was trying to get back into a normal schedule, but I things were hectic when I arrived at church. Sitting in for that SS teacher, trying to get ready for worship. Then the Children's church person needed something for the lesson. I rushed to make copies. I rushed back to the sanctuary. I helped the acolytes get ready. I processed in and realized I had forgotten to get a wired for sound. during greeting I had to run back to the sound man. It was crazy. But I could not slow down. Alicia and I had to engagements Sunday afternoon before I had to rush back to teach Sunday night. It was a big night. Then it was back to work. Getting ready for the next trial that goes out Monday.
Things have been so crazy and I had been so busy, that I missed a couple of issues. One of my adults who helps with children and youth activities might not come back to the church. Another one is kind of fed up. A couple of our youth are boycotting. What, you may ask, could cause such division in the church? Here is were I remind you that my current appointment is conservative. (I know I hate the label, but this is how they would describe themselves.) I am not usually described as conservative. The two youth workers of which I speak do not consider themselves conservative. The two boycotting youth apparently do consider themselves conservative. They feel they cannot be respectful of anyone who could support the Muslim anti-Christ.
Let me pause here to say that I have not talked to these youth about this situation. I have been out of town. Sunday and yesterday I have only passed these youth and did not really understand the issues until after they had left last night. To be fair, I wanted to point out that I still need to get their side of the story.
From the reports I received from several people, the election has been very divisive to some of our congregation. It should be interesting to see where we go from here. I hope people can realize that we can differ in our political views without hating each other. I hope we can concentrate on the things on which we agree and move forward.
I want to go on record right now. I voted for Obama. Maybe this will mean you can no longer respect me as your pastor. Maybe you no longer want me to teach your children. Maybe this means you think it is acceptable for your teenagers to be disrespectful. Of what are you afraid?
Work turned out well. Of course the local papers were quick to report that the defendant would appeal the almost $2.3 Million verdict. Because of said appeal, the client will not see any money for a long time. But it is still fun to win. And several of us went out to celebrate. It was a big night. Then it was back to work.
I had class at Huntingdon this week. On Friday I drove back from Florence, dropped my equipment off at the office, re-organized and headed to Montgomery. Friday night and all day Saturday I sat in class. By afternoon I was texting to get football scores and sharing them with the class. It was good to have an Auburn win. The other game was exciting. It was a big night. Then it was back to work.
One of the Sunday school teachers notified us she would not make it. I was trying to get back into a normal schedule, but I things were hectic when I arrived at church. Sitting in for that SS teacher, trying to get ready for worship. Then the Children's church person needed something for the lesson. I rushed to make copies. I rushed back to the sanctuary. I helped the acolytes get ready. I processed in and realized I had forgotten to get a wired for sound. during greeting I had to run back to the sound man. It was crazy. But I could not slow down. Alicia and I had to engagements Sunday afternoon before I had to rush back to teach Sunday night. It was a big night. Then it was back to work. Getting ready for the next trial that goes out Monday.
Things have been so crazy and I had been so busy, that I missed a couple of issues. One of my adults who helps with children and youth activities might not come back to the church. Another one is kind of fed up. A couple of our youth are boycotting. What, you may ask, could cause such division in the church? Here is were I remind you that my current appointment is conservative. (I know I hate the label, but this is how they would describe themselves.) I am not usually described as conservative. The two youth workers of which I speak do not consider themselves conservative. The two boycotting youth apparently do consider themselves conservative. They feel they cannot be respectful of anyone who could support the Muslim anti-Christ.
Let me pause here to say that I have not talked to these youth about this situation. I have been out of town. Sunday and yesterday I have only passed these youth and did not really understand the issues until after they had left last night. To be fair, I wanted to point out that I still need to get their side of the story.
From the reports I received from several people, the election has been very divisive to some of our congregation. It should be interesting to see where we go from here. I hope people can realize that we can differ in our political views without hating each other. I hope we can concentrate on the things on which we agree and move forward.
I want to go on record right now. I voted for Obama. Maybe this will mean you can no longer respect me as your pastor. Maybe you no longer want me to teach your children. Maybe this means you think it is acceptable for your teenagers to be disrespectful. Of what are you afraid?
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