Does Anyone Really Understand Marriage

I have recently had two friends whose weddings were called off within two weeks of the scheduled date. Both called off by the groom-to-be. Both men initially said they still loved and wanted to be involved with the bride-to-be; they just did not want to marry them. One wonders why they got engaged in the first place.

I have another friend who does not want to be with their spouse, but they apparently want to stay married to them. They do not want to live in the same household. They dread spending time with their spouse. They resent almost everything their spouse does. But they do not believe it would be right to divorce them.

So some people want to be with someone, even live with someone; they just don't want to be married. Others don't want to spend time or live with a person, but feel they need to stay legally married.

What do these people think marriage is? One definition is a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners. Simplistically, I would ask why would you want to stay married to someone with whom you no longer share a sexual relationship, common interests or even live in the same house? And why would people want to purchase a house together, live as sexual and domestic partners, but deny one partner the marriage contract with which they would feel more comfortable.

I realize that there are some financial or security benefits to staying legally married even if you no longer live together. And I understand that on the other side of the coin some people are just opposed to the legality or formality of marriage. I understand that some people have a true commitment without feeling the need for "a piece of paper."

I know there are some couples who wish they could have that legal option to be with their domestic partner. Interesting that one of the first gay couples to get married in California when it became legal had been committed without the legality for several decades. Interesting that gay couples fight hard for the right to marry their partner.

So what makes a marriage? Is it the commitment that is important? The legal documentation? The wedding ceremony?

I don't have a real point here. Just thoughts that have come to mind while observing recent events. And people wonder why I have never re-married. People have some *%#&$! up ideas about marriage.