One week ago today we buried my mother. Sherri did an excellent job of remembering and celebrating her life. There was laughter. There were tears. Many friends gathered that morning or had come to visit or call the night before. So many people expressing their love and respect for my mother or for our family.

One month ago we were told my mother's condition was greatly improved. Her labs were within normal range. She would be monitored and have maintenance therapy. So you can imagine the shock when she took a sudden and extreme turn for the worse. Once she took that turn it began a racing downward spiral.

In the two weeks prior to her death, Mother was able to see all of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She also got to see many other family members and friends.

The memories many have shared with us have been comforting. The love her sisters showed in her final days should inspire us all. I post this photo to remind us all of the true love shared for over six decades.

The example of the marriage that my parents set really set a high standard. I do not claim it to be perfect. I imagine they had passed some of the hardest struggles by the time I came along. The years I witnessed were probably the ones after they had established the bonds of coming through difficult times and emerging stronger on the other side. (I do not know of any specific problems, but I cannot imagine that having 3 children in 3 years didn't create a little conflict.) I have often said that I never remarried because it was hard to imagine anyone working hard enough to meet the standard set by my parents' example. (and I had not found anyone who could take care of me as well as my parents have all of these years)

I may keep a copy of this photo to use when I counsel couples before they marry. Are you willing to sit with this person day and night, never leaving their side? Will you hold their hand will they are sick?

When you wonder why I take marriage so seriously that I will not enter into it without much consideration, remember this picture and the love in which I was raised.

And as one friend pointed out - this is a beautiful picture of a true love between two humans. Imagine how much more God loves us.

Love to you all.

many thoughts, but so little time to blog

i must admit that after having another pastor "tattle" to someone about my blog and my comments on a friends blog, i have been hesitant to post my most honest thoughts. this cautiousness, coupled with a busy schedule, has kept me from sharing my thoughts with you.

so why do i have so little time? what is so different in the last year or so that i cannot find time to complete baby blankets i started making? or find time to practice the guitar? how do other people have time to play farmville and farm town and mafia wars and yoville and all the other games on fb when i can barely find the time to update my status and read those of my friends? don't i have the same 24 hours that everyone else has?

in a recent class, we had a pretend wesleyan class meeting. when it came time to confess my sin (an optional part of the experiment), i first confessed that i would have never been allowed to be a part of john wesley's class society because being punctual was a requirement. then i confessed that i am not a good steward of the time with with i have been blessed. so my prayer is that i can be disciplined enough to use my time wisely. i guess you better pray for me too because i should actually be working right now and instead i am posting on my blog.

so i will sign off for now to go try to accomplish something with my time.

I really have a lot to do but feel this must be said

TV, blogs, Facebook, emails, everywhere everyone has something to say about health care reform. Most of the facts have been twisted. It does not really matter. No one is really listening to their opposition. Just a bunch of people yelling at each other - not really communicating. Through Sojourners and Jim Wallis, I signed the following creed which was forwarded to my senator/congressman. I believe that when it was forwarded it indicated that I am a pastor. So of course when the senator and congressman sent their form letter in reply to the church address, they were sent to MR. Donna Godwin. Says a lot doesn't it. Anyway, no matter what side of the debate you may fall, please consider A Christian Creed to Health-Care Reform:

As one of God's children, I believe that protecting the health of each human being is a profoundly important personal and communal responsibility for people of faith.I believe God created each person in the divine image to be spiritually and physically healthy. I feel the pain of sickness and disease in our broken world (Genesis 1:27, Romans 8:22).

I believe life and healing are core tenets of the Christian life. Christ's ministry included physical healing, and we are called to participate in God's new creation as instruments of healing and redemption (Matthew 4:23, Luke 9:1-6; Mark 7:32-35, Acts 10:38). Our nation should strive to ensure all people have access to life-giving treatments and care.

I believe, as taught by the Hebrew prophets and Jesus, that the measure of a society is seen in how it treats the most vulnerable. The current discussion about health-care reform is important for the United States to move toward a more just system of providing care to all people (Isaiah 1:16-17, Jeremiah 7:5-7, Matthew 25:31-45).

I believe that all people have a moral obligation to tell the truth. To serve the common good of our entire nation, all parties debating reform should tell the truth and refrain from distorting facts or using fear-based messaging (Leviticus 19:11; Ephesians 4:14-15, 25; Proverbs 6:16-19).

I believe that Christians should seek to bring health and well-being (shalom) to the society into which God has placed us, for a healthy society benefits all members (Jeremiah 29:7).

I believe in a time when all will live long and healthy lives, from infancy to old age (Isaiah 65:20), and "mourning and crying and pain will be no more" (Revelation 21:4). My heart breaks for my brothers and sisters who watch their loved ones suffer, or who suffer themselves, because they cannot afford a trip to the doctor. I stand with them in their suffering.

I believe health-care reform must rest on a foundation of values that affirm each and every life as a sacred gift from the Creator (Genesis 2:7).Amen.

I guess I'm back

I realize I am not faithful to post to this blog on a regular basis, but it seems like is has been a really long time since I have been here. Easter, trials, appendectomy, recovery at a location with no Internet and then trying to get caught up all contributed to this extended absence.

My recent surgery and recovery kind of leads me to this title. While I was sick, in the hospital and then recovering, so very many people were kind enough to help me. People did things for me. Everyone want me to rest. People were concerned that I would try to do too much; push myself too hard. No one wanted to stress me. No one wanted to bother me. If the office needed to contact me, they started out with "I hate to bother you, but..." When I returned to the office part time, people would be concerned that I might try to do more than I was ready to do. Everyone was so nice.

By the end of the week, I guess they assumed that I needed to be back to my old self. Suddenly is was "we need this mass email to go out" "we need this project handled" "my computer locked up; can you tell me how to fix it" "can you come look at this?" "can you cover this for me?" "Mom, please come rescue me", etc. You get the idea. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate being needed. A lot of these quotes give me job security. I like to be helpful. But I will say that I am soooo tired today.

So dear family and co-workers, can we please find the balance between babying me and expecting me to run a marathon? I'm back, but not all the way back. Thanks.

are you guilty of being the older brother?

Today I read a blog by Tony Campolo entitled “I’m the Older Brother.” (which can be found at http://blog.sojo.net/2009/03/24/im-the-older-brother/ if you would like to read more than the excerpts I address below.)
In his blog, Campolo admits that with regard to President Obama’s stimulus package and its provisions to help those Americans who are having great difficulty paying their home mortgages, he has come to realize that he is like the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son.
(in case you need reminding, younger brother takes his share of their father’s wealth, spends it all irresponsibly, then returns home to ask for a job on his father’s farm. But instead of giving him a job, his father runs out to meet him, welcomes him home and throws a party. Older brother is angry. He resents that he worked hard for his father for many years, and now the money he helped earn is being spent on the brother who was wasteful. Campolo points out that we can almost hear the older brother saying, “This brother of mine was irresponsible in the way he lived and spent his money, so why should he now get the benefits of money that I helped earn through my hard work, day in and day out?”
Then Campolo admits that this is much the same attitude that he and many conservative brothers and sisters, have had in reaction to President Obama’s announcement that taxpayers’ dollars, earned by hard-working, responsible citizens, would be given to help those irresponsible Americans who bought houses that they couldn't afford, while embracing a lifestyle that was beyond their means. This is a very good comparison. Campolo goes on to say that many people now sound like that older brother in Jesus’ story, and call for those irresponsible spenders to get what they deserve. With an air of self-righteous indignation, we declare, “They didn’t do what’s right and now we’re being asked to rescue them from the financial mess they’ve created for themselves!”
Campolo reminds us that the gospel is about grace and we all know that grace is about us receiving from God blessings that we don’t deserve. But many are reluctant to extend that grace to others.
In several incidents recently, I have noticed that people – especially Christians - have problems extending grace to others. Because of this, Christians often give Christianity a bad name. We preach about grace. We declare a God of second (and third and fourth, etc) chances. Yet we do not give people a second chance. We often fail to even give the first chance. Our mouths say we seek to reach the lost and bring them back to God. But our actions (or reactions) say that you shouldn’t have gotten lost in the first place and if you are not like us we will not be comfortable worshipping with you. We claim to share a message of “Hey, I am a sinner just like you because we have all fallen short of the glory of God. Evangelism is just one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread.” But the message others actually receive is “Yuck. Are you kidding? If you have made any error in judgment or fallen short it any way we want to see you punished. After you’ve jumped through our hoops, we might consider throwing you some crumbs.”
Maybe you’re outraged at a stimulus package or resentful of social services or irritated by the way someone dresses at church or disgusted that someone does not know a church ritual or reluctant to forgive someone, or all of the above and more. Ask yourself: Am I the older brother? Am I reluctant to extend the grace I have received to my brother (or sister)?

what I really think

this morning I wanted to do announcements and say something I had been thinking. all the way to church I thought about how I would say it. but when I arrived at church, a realization of the changing times welcomed me.

For a year and a half I have thought that I could afford to be the one who to challenge the church. after all, my livelihood does not depend on the church paycheck. if I was the one to honestly assess a situation and said assessment angered the congregation, I could afford to be run off. But today was the the beginning of a change. Well a change that will last for at least the next couple of months.

Tim offered to do announcements and address a situation. He reasoned that he would be leaving in a couple of months and he could afford to say the possibly unpopular things. What unwelcome announcement could we possibly need to make?

Well, last night was the youth fundraiser - a St. Paddy's Day Party/Dance. Money raised will be used for the youth mission project. Last week the church council included a long discussion on how we need to have programming for the youth. People commented on the importance of youth ministry. But last night the only people who showed up for the fundraiser were people associated with youth.

I was proud to have a good youth representation. (a concern since it was the beginning of Spring break) I was thankful for the parents and grandparents who helped prepare for the party. The new youth director and family worked hard on an event they kind of inherited because it was planned before they came on board. I appreciate the people who came on Friday to set up sound and decorate. The people who came out Friday for set up and those who attended the party on Saturday all seemed to have a good time.

Although there was certainly for which to be thankful, I couldn't help but wonder where all those people who just a few days earlier had talked about the importance of youth ministry. Where were the people whose presence could have sent a message to the youth that the congregation supported them? Where was the desire to fellowship with one another?

I really wanted to stand up and tell these people of my disappointment. I wanted to tell them that they needed to back up their words with their actions. I wanted to say this is the first church I had ever known where the people only supported a cause if they reaped some benefit. They only attend an event if they have some personal interest in the particular ministry. Can't they see that they should have a personal interest in every ministry of their church?

But Tim set out to protect me from my own mouth. Instead I stood in the back and kept Dustin from burning down the church while Tim told everyone what a good time they missed. Pictures of all the fun scrolled across the screen (eventually) while Tim described the excellent potato bar, lively music and fun missed by those who failed to come out to support the youth fundraiser. He reminded the congregation of how much youth would enjoy interaction with other generations. He reminded them of the importance of showing support.

And so once again only a few will know what I really think. Because I am learning that maybe I do not always have to be the one who says what I think.

the post that tells you nothing

This has been a crazy year. The more I resolve to post more regularly, the harder it seems to do so. I am having wireless issues and time issues and posting to the blog or even checking what my friends have blogged has been difficult. But here I am with another baby step making an effort.

Maybe all the hurdles have been God's way of making sure I have not been able to post something I would regret. You may find this hard to believe, gentle readers, but there are people who will criticize you speak your mind. Some are honest enough to comment and provide their names. and then there's always Anonymous. Or perhaps they will not even comment on your blog, but instead call someone who knows you and express their "concern" about what you have written.

You see, a lot has happened on which I have an opinion, but it is probably best not to share that opinion with everyone. That is very funny because I am so often accused of being brutally honest and too blunt. People assume I just say everything that jumps in my mind. (and often I do speak/write without thinking) If the things I say shock people, what would they do if they knew the things I think, but don't say?

First round of appointments were proposed this week. A lot of pastors moving around. I don't know all of them yet. Some may change after the second round. I do know that I will be working with someone new. Still waiting to learn about them. Appointment time. One of those times it might be best not to say everything that jumps in your head.

That may be one of the hardest parts about being clergy. You have to be careful how much information and opinion you share. Some clergy never even share what team they support. all you have to do is see my car and you know that I don't keep that a secret. Some advise you not to indicate which way you lean politically. I really try on that one because I can see where that would be divisive. but most people can figure that out about me also. You have to be really careful not to take sides when there is disagreement among church folk. Well that is a full time job because church people often disagree.

So here I am posting without really saying anything and thinking for all the times I hear "you would not believe what Donna said" I would like to say "No - you would not believe what I really wanted to say."

This has been a busy week and today is a big day

I started the week with a great worship service. Noted the observance of MLK Jr. Day, Human Relations Day, historic inauguration, baptized two people, got to see a bunch of friends. After worship several people complimented the service - baptisms and anointing were special. People said the sermon went well. I noted that it is easier to do well when you have a crowd that loves you and wants you to do well. Nice start to the week.

Which brings us to today. Historic because we have a new president. Funny because news commentators noted as Bush flew out of Washington that everyone was cheering - some in support, others because they were happy to see him leave. Hopeful because so many people wish our new president well. But all of these national events are not the only big events of the day.

Today we welcome Lillee Jo and Steven Coy to the world. I am leaving to go meet them, so this post will be short.

I just wanted to post a hopeful blog for these new beginnings. It is the beginning of the year (still in the first month). Baptism is the initiation to the church. Inauguration marks the beginning of a new presidency. And birth is definitely a beginning of new life and the certainly the beginning of a new way of life for the family. May God bless all of these new beginnings.

I really am alive

I will not even bother to list all of my excuses for having neglected posting. I know that most of you who read my blog know how crazy things have been lately. I don't know that things will be any less crazy, but I guess one of my resolutions for 2009 will be to try to be more consistant with posting to the blog. Of course, I do not usually make New Year's resolutions.

I have been lucky enough to see many of my friends more in the last month than I had been able to see them in a while. Football, Christmas events and a baby shower presented several opportunities to catch up. Since several people mentioned that they try to keep up with me by reading this blog, I determined I should do a better job of posting.

Christmas was great. I am lucky enough to get to see my family during the holidays. We had fun. Church events went smoothly. Overall a very merry Christmas.

My goal is to get organized so I can get more accomplished in 2009. I have enjoyed seeing the WEEDs over the past month and would like to try to get together more often. LEGS had a nice turnout for our Christmas party and I would like to carry that momentum into 2009.

Hmm. I am taking baby steps at blogging again. Don't have time to say much, but I did want to wish everyone a wonderful 2009.