In case you wondered - I am still alive

Wow! What a time to be too busy to post. It has been a crazy few weeks. After a fairly slow trial year, I am spending the last couple of months in back-to-back trials. That means that in addition to my church work, for the last several weeks I have been in trial prep or in trial. Last week I was in Florence for a trial. On the historic election night when I would have loved to have been out celebrating, I was in a hotel room getting ready for the next day of trial. I stayed on the phone with Alicia for over an hour while she stood in line to vote. She needed someone sensible to talk to as she sensed she was the only blue dot in line. I had celebratory phone calls, text messages and email. Those blue dot friends of mine getting in touch to share some of the excitement. It was a big night. Then it was back to work.

Work turned out well. Of course the local papers were quick to report that the defendant would appeal the almost $2.3 Million verdict. Because of said appeal, the client will not see any money for a long time. But it is still fun to win. And several of us went out to celebrate. It was a big night. Then it was back to work.

I had class at Huntingdon this week. On Friday I drove back from Florence, dropped my equipment off at the office, re-organized and headed to Montgomery. Friday night and all day Saturday I sat in class. By afternoon I was texting to get football scores and sharing them with the class. It was good to have an Auburn win. The other game was exciting. It was a big night. Then it was back to work.

One of the Sunday school teachers notified us she would not make it. I was trying to get back into a normal schedule, but I things were hectic when I arrived at church. Sitting in for that SS teacher, trying to get ready for worship. Then the Children's church person needed something for the lesson. I rushed to make copies. I rushed back to the sanctuary. I helped the acolytes get ready. I processed in and realized I had forgotten to get a wired for sound. during greeting I had to run back to the sound man. It was crazy. But I could not slow down. Alicia and I had to engagements Sunday afternoon before I had to rush back to teach Sunday night. It was a big night. Then it was back to work. Getting ready for the next trial that goes out Monday.

Things have been so crazy and I had been so busy, that I missed a couple of issues. One of my adults who helps with children and youth activities might not come back to the church. Another one is kind of fed up. A couple of our youth are boycotting. What, you may ask, could cause such division in the church? Here is were I remind you that my current appointment is conservative. (I know I hate the label, but this is how they would describe themselves.) I am not usually described as conservative. The two youth workers of which I speak do not consider themselves conservative. The two boycotting youth apparently do consider themselves conservative. They feel they cannot be respectful of anyone who could support the Muslim anti-Christ.

Let me pause here to say that I have not talked to these youth about this situation. I have been out of town. Sunday and yesterday I have only passed these youth and did not really understand the issues until after they had left last night. To be fair, I wanted to point out that I still need to get their side of the story.

From the reports I received from several people, the election has been very divisive to some of our congregation. It should be interesting to see where we go from here. I hope people can realize that we can differ in our political views without hating each other. I hope we can concentrate on the things on which we agree and move forward.

I want to go on record right now. I voted for Obama. Maybe this will mean you can no longer respect me as your pastor. Maybe you no longer want me to teach your children. Maybe this means you think it is acceptable for your teenagers to be disrespectful. Of what are you afraid?

are you red or blue?

As previously posted, I have offended people with what they consider my "liberal" views. While I admit that I am considered liberal in many areas, some people who are offended have actually just assumed they know how I feel about certain issues. I work for trial lawyers so I must be liberal (and evil). So logically you can assume that since I am liberal I am "pro-abortion." That one really irritates me. I don't think anyone is pro-abortion. Pro-choice does not equal pro-abortion.

I basically don't like labels like liberal and conservative because those are relative terms. What is your starting reference? I recently asked several people if Jesus was liberal or conservative. I suspected that so-called conservative people would say that Jesus was conservative and so-called liberals would say He was liberal. According to my very non-scientific survey Jesus is liberal, conservative and independent. He forged new paths, he was compassionate for all, he followed the law, he was not influenced by outside forces.

I am offended by people who assume you cannot be "liberal' and Christian. I am offended by one political party claiming all rights to Christianity. And I am not alone. A couple of years ago I bought a book by Jim Wallis titled God's Politics. In it he points out that God is neither Republican or Democrat. I like a lot of what he says. Today I read his blog and I like it so much I would like to share a portion with you.

by Jim Wallis 10-23-2008

...I want to suggest a different approach this year and share my personal list of “faith priorities” that will guide me in making the imperfect choices that always confront us in any election year — and suggest that each of you come up with your own list of “faith” or “moral” priorities for this election year and take them into the voting booth with you.
... there is certainly no easy jump from God’s politics to either the Republicans or Democrats. God is neither. In any election, we face imperfect choices, but our choices should reflect the things we believe God cares about if we are people of faith, and our own moral sensibilities if we are not people of faith. Therefore, people of faith, and all of us, should be “values voters” but vote all our values, not just a few that can be easily manipulated for the benefit of one party or another.
In 2008, the kingdom of God is not on the ballot in any of the 50 states as far as I can see. So we can’t vote for that this year. But there are important choices in this year’s election — very important choices — which will dramatically impact what many in the religious community and outside of it call “the common good,” and the outcome could be very important, perhaps even more so than in many recent electoral contests.
I am in no position to tell anyone what is “non-negotiable,” and neither is any bishop or megachurch pastor, but let me tell you the “faith priorities” and values I will be voting on this year:
With more than 2,000 verses in the Bible about how we treat the poor and oppressed, I will examine the record, plans, policies, and promises made by the candidates on what they will do to overcome the scandal of extreme global poverty and the shame of such unnecessary domestic poverty in the richest nation in the world. Such a central theme of the Bible simply cannot be ignored at election time, as too many Christians have done for years. And any solution to the economic crisis that simply bails out the rich, and even the middle class, but ignores those at the bottom should simply be unacceptable to people of faith.
From the biblical prophets to Jesus, there is, at least, a biblical presumption against war and the hope of beating our swords into instruments of peace. So I will choose the candidates who will be least likely to lead us into more disastrous wars and find better ways to resolve the inevitable conflicts in the world and make us all safer. I will choose the candidates who seem to best understand that our security depends upon other people’s security (everyone having “their own vine and fig tree, so no one can make them afraid,” as the prophets say) more than upon how high we can build walls or a stockpile of weapons. Christians should never expect a pacifist president, but we can insist on one who views military force only as a very last resort, when all other diplomatic and economic measures have failed, and never as a preferred or habitual response to conflict.
“Choosing life” is a constant biblical theme, so I will choose candidates who have the most consistent ethic of life, addressing all the threats to human life and dignity that we face — not just one. Thirty-thousand children dying globally each day of preventable hunger and disease is a life issue. The genocide in Darfur is a life issue. Health care is a life issue. War is a life issue. The death penalty is a life issue. And on abortion, I will choose candidates who have the best chance to pursue the practical and proven policies which could dramatically reduce the number of abortions in America and therefore save precious unborn lives, rather than those who simply repeat the polarized legal debates and “pro-choice” and “pro-life” mantras from either side.
God’s fragile creation is clearly under assault, and I will choose the candidates who will likely be most faithful in our care of the environment. In particular, I will choose the candidates who will most clearly take on the growing threat of climate change, and who have the strongest commitment to the conversion of our economy and way of life to a cleaner, safer, and more renewable energy future. And that choice could accomplish other key moral priorities like the redemption of a dangerous foreign policy built on Middle East oil dependence, and the great prospects of job creation and economic renewal from a new “green” economy built on more spiritual values of conservation, stewardship, sustainability, respect, responsibility, co-dependence, modesty, and even humility.
Every human being is made in the image of God, so I will choose the candidates who are most likely to protect human rights and human dignity. Sexual and economic slavery is on the rise around the world, and an end to human trafficking must become a top priority. As many religious leaders have now said, torture is completely morally unacceptable, under any circumstances, and I will choose the candidates who are most committed to reversing American policy on the treatment of prisoners. And I will choose the candidates who understand that the immigration system is totally broken and needs comprehensive reform, but must be changed in ways that are compassionate, fair, just, and consistent with the biblical command to “welcome the stranger.”
Healthy families are the foundation of our community life, and nothing is more important than how we are raising up the next generation. As the father of two young boys, I am deeply concerned about the values our leaders model in the midst of the cultural degeneracy assaulting our children. Which candidates will best exemplify and articulate strong family values, using the White House and other offices as bully pulpits to speak of sexual restraint and integrity, marital fidelity, strong parenting, and putting family values over economic values? And I will choose the candidates who promise to really deal with the enormous economic and cultural pressures that have made parenting such a “countercultural activity” in America today, rather than those who merely scapegoat gay people for the serious problems of heterosexual family breakdown.
That is my list of personal “faith priorities” for the election year of 2008, but they are not “non-negotiables” for anyone else. It’s time for each of us to make up our own list in these next 12 days. Make your list and send this on to your friends and family members, inviting them to do the same thing.

One of my LEGS members recently asked about Biblical guidance in voting decisions. I believe Wallis has helped.

Once Clergy Always Clergy

Someone asked me to ponder this thought. Can clergy take off their clergy hat occasionally? Or do you have to always behave as a clergy? I think this was someone's way of telling me to straighten up and fly right. Keep quiet. Don't be quite so honest. Really, so being dishonest is what being a clergy is all about? I am sure they meant I should be more tactful. I am sure this is a criticism that I could use and I should speak more carefully.

Here is the irony. Church people are "concerned" about these things. "Pre-Christians" / seekers / unchurched - whatever the term of the week - comment on how refreshing it is to know a "real" person who happens to be clergy. "Church people must be confused that you are not a hypocrite like many of them - behaving one way at church and another way away from it." "I could have stayed in church if my preacher was more like you." "I wish your church was closer to me; I would visit."

I don't mean to sound egotistical. I realize for every person who thinks my bluntness is refreshing, there is someone who is offended by it. I know my style is not for everyone.

I know that church leaders should be and are held to a higher standard. I know we should be more disciplined. I know congregants should be able to look up to their pastor.

So maybe I am not such a great clergy. Maybe I should rethink this whole thing. I like being able to speak my mind. I don't want to be a cookie cutter clergy. I am not just like everyone else.

I love the people at my current appointment. But I wish more people were inspired and passionate. Some are. But for too long they have been accustomed to the staff taking care of things. I am not sure they actually understand they are a vital part of the church. But I think they are starting to get involved. But if I dare to say I would love for people at my appointment to be passionate, someone will misconstrue this as bashing my church.

I like working with youth. It is really where I am most comfortable. But only a few youth at my current appointment are committed to regularly participating. And some are actually staying away because of me. Some people are critical of the youth counselors who have volunteered since I started working with youth. I certainly feel like there are more people dissatisfied with my youth work than those who see my vision. But when I suggest that maybe they need to hire an actual youth director, some assume I do not want to work with youth rather than seeing that I am just open to the church re-evaluating the situation.

I am quite aware of problems at my home church. I was included on recent mass emails. I opted not to respond or get involved because I thought it would not be appropriate. My closest friends might have heard an opinion, but I have not commented publically on the situation. And let me be clear here: It would be unwise for anyone to assume that I have taken a "side" and even more unwise to assume they know which "side" I have taken. But, in fact, some have made such assumptions and have become critical that a clergy now appointed elsewhere would get involved in home church drama.

So if being clergy means I cannot say how I feel on my own blog or post comments on my friends' blogs; I cannot admit my shortcomings; I cannot be honest; I cannot be concerned for my home church (of which my child is still a member), perhaps I don't need to be clergy. Or perhaps people should rethink their expectations of clergy.

team work is the fuel that enables common people to accomplish uncommon things

(or up up and away)

today was laity sunday at church. this is the day the clergy sits in the congregation and lay people handle all aspects of worship. a day to remember that all members are to be ministers. you know - we are all part of the body of christ.

for children's moment jason used his injuries from a motorcycle accident to demonstrate how difficult it is to be truly efficient when part of the body does not function properly. during children's church children had to accomplish tasks with at least one part of their body restricted in some way.

then after church my family went on an adventure. several of us had lunch with my parents. my great-nephews were in town for the weekend. we enjoyed lunch and spent some time visiting. then cathy, katie, calum, braeden, alicia and i went to paws in the park in pell city for an adventure. after waiting in line for almost two hours, we went riding in a hot air balloon. while we waited, we watched a team of 5-6 people get the balloon set up. while we waited, i read the back of a t-shirt on a girl further up the line. "team work: the fuel that enables common people to do uncommon things"

the thought on the t-shirt and the team working to enable us to enjoy the balloon ride made me reflect on the teamwork that should be involved in the body of christ. the church should be able to soar like the balloon if everyone works together.

we had a lot of fun today. worth the wait.

my mother always said be careful what you say

Be careful what you say because you never know to whom you are talking. My mother always warned that it is a small world. The older I get the more I know my mother is right about a lot of things.

Being on a church staff means people will talk about you. Sometimes it is good; sometimes bad. People think nothing of sharing their opinions of politicians, football coaches and preachers. They do not consider this gossip. It is simply something we do. So I am quite used to being the subject of conversation among members of the churches I have served.

First let me admit that the most recent criticisms about me really can be traced back to a careless statement I made. I made an enemy at the church when I gave my opinion of Sarah Palin. And since then it has gone down hill. I can do no right.

Recently, a group gathered at the church for a social event. The group had two people present who do not normally attend. One happened to be the person who was offended by my Palin comments. Apparently at some time during their time together, the conversation turned to me. My critic shared her less than flattering opinion of me. I am not sure how many of the others chimed in. I am not sure if anyone pointed out any of my positive characteristics. All that was reported to me was that there quite a bit of Donna-bashing. Apparently it was not until the other non-regular attender was leaving that she shared with someone that she was related to me. Yes folks - you read correctly. All of the Donna-bashing occurred in front of a visitor who happens to be in my family.

Now, I do not fault the group for talking about me. I have been guilty of sitting with friends talking about a preacher. But I do think we need to all think about who is present when we have these discussions.

So my question for my critics today is: Would you like the names of other relatives so you can contact them all to tell them how ungodly I am?

The 10 Commandments of Blogging

I recently ran across a blog that outlined the 10 commandments of blogging. The Evangelical Alliance in the UK recently held a “Godblogs” conference wherein Christian bloggers gathered to discuss a Christian approach to blogging. During the event, the group decided to write a tongue in cheek set of commandments for bloggers. http://www.eauk.org/articles/blogging-ten.cfm

While this might not be my list, it made me think about how carefully we should write. Recent blog posts and emails have set off a fire storm for some of my very dear friends. It really has passed the point of ridiculous. When discussing it with another friend, he commented that he really did not get why people blog in the first place. He further commented that people should be very careful about what they post (if they feel the need to post) on blogs. As a business owner, he commented that recruiters often refer to blogs as a means of weeding out potential hires.

Now all of the craziness and the comments made me think and I have a few observations.

1. Stop and think about the ages of the people who read our blogs and "get it" and those who don't. Realizing that I am about on the cusp of this age division. I think that a lot of boomers and older don't like communication by emails and blogs. I think they read things too literally and are too easily offended. So are we also guilty of not "getting" them? Maybe it is a true generation gap issue.

2. Are we all being too self-focused? Are we chasing our tails trying to each prove that we are right? Are we so busy thinking about how we are going to respond to the latest rhetoric that we fail to listen to what our "opposition" is saying?

3. Although our blogs are our own thoughts and our opportunity to rant, once we have put these words out for all the world to see we have to accept that people can use our own words against us if they so desire. Those who understand us will accept that these posts are just ways to think out loud and work out our issues. Blogs are a way to journal and be able to look back and see how issues were resolved or not. Those who love and support us will allow us to do this without being judgmental or offended. But those who don't truly love will not understand our tone or our sarcasm or ever try to see our heart in what we write. Instead they will twist our words. They will read their own insecurities into our words. They will take things out of context. They will not refer back to previous posts to try to make sense of what we are writing.

My point? Assuming I actually have one, I suppose that it is: Writer Beware! Blog at your own risk. Think about what you write.

I find it very interesting that one person who has responded to a series of emails and posted comments on a blog has asked writers to think about how they would feel if people were saying things about them in this way. And then that person proceeds to attack people in much the way he has just accused them of attacking. Obviously he is not reading his own words. So I say to those who start emails or blogs and all those who add to the thread of comments: Try to find a way to convey your thoughts without belittling your opposition. In the words of Obama (which I do not claim to be an exact quote): We can disagree without being disrespectful.

Do Church People Make You Sick?

I will admit, that I often wish I could just puke after dealing with some church people. I understand why so many people are turned off by organized religion. Man.... What a self-righteous puffed-up bunch of idiots we can be. What I particularly love (please note the sarcasm) is that these people don't seem to understand that we are supposed to be striving to be Christ-like. Which means we are to be loving. Which means that we should be able to find a way to disagree without being disrespectful. And we certainly should not be underhanded, sneaky and manipulative.

Ironic that I should be irritated by people who attempt to manipulate others because I have been accused of such tactics on at least two recent occasions. Perhaps I should be flattered that some think I am capable of having so much power. But, in fact, I am a little irritated that people assume that (a) I would have the desire to manipulate the situations of which I am accused (b) the people that I am supposed to have manipulated are so weak and/or stupid that I would be able to manipulate them.

One of the poor saps over whom I allegedly I have so much power is a church associate. Some people do not like the direction we are headed, so obviously I have used my mysterious powers to brainwash people. I would just like to be clear that if I had that much power, there are a number of things we would be differently. Maybe appropriate secular music used in worship. Always using the entire liturgy for communion. Less Sunday afternoon meetings. Actual staff meetings. Disciple Bible Studies. Better communication. The list goes on.

But the church should really be worried if I had the power for which I get credit. In my personal life, the accusations go really extreme. Those accusations skirt right up to "casting spells" on people in order to take advantage of them - seducing them to my dark side. Let's face it - am just plain evil.

OK ladies. If I had all of this power, a lot of things would be different. First of all, as much as I have learned to love my current appointment, if I had such mind control, I doubt this would have been my appointment of choice. To be honest, if I was in control, I probably would never have wanted to leave HUMC. But if HUMC was not my option, I would be somewhere with a good alternative service, with a great technical set-up to be able to do some drama. I would have lots of children and youth. I would have a ton of talented actors. I would have people lined up to volunteer to help teach children and youth and work in the nursery. We would be doing innovative things in the community. We would rock. Everyone at my church would rationally discuss issues. We would all love each other. We would be spending all of our energy (usually used on conflict) reaching out in imaginative ways to make new disciples. church people would not be so stubborn and stupid. If only I had that power.

If I had the power you think I have, I would be free to pursue a certain romantic interest. Why the hell would I want to seduce someone with whom I can never have a real relationship. If I could really cast a spell - I would have gone all the way and either cast a spell on someone who is really available or cast a spell to make someone completely free and available to pursue a relationship.

If I had all of the power, there would be a cure for cancer.

If I had the power, Auburn would have a quarterback.

The economy would improve.

HUMC would be united.

People would truly be the church.

If I only had the power to control things the way people think.

GODISNOWHERE

What does the title say to you? Some people will read one thing while it will read totally differently to another. both readings would be correct. (although not both statements would be true.)

Did you read GOD IS NOWHERE? You might correctly read that. However, the statement might be more accurate if you read GOD IS NOW HERE.

The point is that we sometimes can look at the same thing, but see totally different things.

My friend Kevin wrote about differences of opinions today. this is certainly a time of year that highlights our differences of opinion. Although we may have these differences all year, it is now that our opinion of Alabama or Auburn (or UAB or LSU or Georgia or Tennessee, etc.) may may be highlighted. With only five weeks until the election, our opinions regarding Obama/Biden or McSame/Pain may be more evident.

I am often disappointed when people of faith cannot lovingly disagree. One reason I cannot listen to Rick & Bubba is that they ridicule and belittle anyone who does not think exactly like they do. I am disappointed when I read a pastor's condescending and judgmental email responses or comments on blogs. It disappoints me when people who claim to be Christians became hateful and disrespectful to those who don't see things they way they do.

GODISNOWHERE.

We can all look at the same things, but they can mean very different things to us. The important thing is that we recognize that different does not always mean wrong. (but sometimes it does)

Fireproof - the movie

Wednesday night at youth we asked what the church is supposed to be. I assigned one element of church to a youth or group of youth and asked them to convince the rest of us that their element was the most important. So for most of our time together we heard about why witness, support, instruction, fellowship, worship and service are important to the church being the church. If you are reading this now, I would like to know your thoughts.

Whether or not it is the most important, I cannot say, but fellowship is important. So tonight a group of us went to a movie and then dinner. Part of our LEGS (Let's Enjoy God's Spirit) group checked out Fireproof. You may know that this movie is the latest release from the people who brought us Facing the Giants. This time they have a professional actor - one with a name many recognize - Kirk Cameron. Otherwise, the acting is pretty much like that in Facing the Giants. That is really the first thing you notice about the movie - low budget, weak acting skills. But the movie is actually pretty good. There are some very funny characters. There is action. (dramatic rescues). And then of course there is the love story. Even my cold hearted self started to tear up. I might have actually cried until I got tickled at the synchronized sniffling of all of the other women (and some men) in the theatre. But then I don't think my neighbors appreciated my laughing at this tear-jerking part.

One thing the movie made me think about was that whether it is in a marriage or in a church, our selfishness creates a multitude of problems. Clear communication and caring are important in any relationship. If we are only concerned with our own agenda and what feels good to us at the time, we will continue to have problems. try listening to others. pay attention. And pray.

I leave you to swirl those thoughts in your brain. I am tired.

What is wrong with the church today?

Oh the fun of being on a church staff. People are quick to tell you what is wrong with the church. And to be honest there is a lot wrong with churches. All churches have problems. So if you think you need to change churches because of the problems, let me assure you that you will be just be leaving one set of problems for another. Point in fact - I have been monitoring discussion of two different churches with two very different sets of problems.

Of course since I am on staff at one church, there will be some people who will say that I am part of the problem at that church. I don't claim to be perfect. I don't claim to fit most people's idea of what their clergy should be. But I promise you that I am not as evil or crazy as some people seem to think. (Ok - I might be crazy. And I suppose I can be evil. But not evil and crazy at the same time.)

For some people, I have created a problem because in their minds their preacher should have penis. It will not matter what I do or don't do. It doesn't matter what I say or don't say. I simply cannot be a preacher because I female. That alone creates a controversy.

For others it is more complicated. I don't believe Halloween originated with the worship of evil. I don't appreciate e-mails with erroneous information about presidential candidates. I don't believe the war in Iraq was justified. I would dare to talk about current events of a sexual nature (teenage pregnancy, purity/promise rings) with the youth. I allow an unmarried mother to be teach children's church and be a youth counselor. So I must be evil and crazy.

Then I think some people are just unhappy, whiny-baby, complaining never-happy-about-anything idiots. And these people usually don't have the balls to tell you to your face that they have a problem with you. They just go around recruiting people to join in their whiny-baby ways. They pick apart every tiny thing you do. They criticize everyone around them. For example, a couple of months ago I had a parent tell me they had some concerns about one or two of the youth counselors, but they couldn't tell me anything specific that I could address. Since then, I have had a couple of issues with on which we did not see eye-to-eye. But she never addresses her concerns about me to my face. I have tried approaching her to deal with the issues directly, but she brushes me off. Tonight some her round the world ways of dealing with issues came up in a committee meeting and quite frankly it pissed me off. She was not even at the meeting, but by mentioning it to someone who would mention it to someone who would be the meeting, she basically accused two of my workers of stealing.

It all has to do with the honor system basket that we use for Wednesday night dinners. First, I think the person is wrong in their accusations. But even if she is right, it brings up the delicate balance - the question about whether a church should turn away someone who does not have the money to pay for dinner. At the risk of sounding like church leaders who accuse anyone who disagrees with them of being un-Christian, I must say that worrying over being $2 short on Wednesday night seems a little un-Christian.

It is obvious to me that all churches have problems. That is because churches are made of people. People are imperfect. People are selfish. People create problems.

ok i've waited as long as i could

I have avoided jumping on the political blog bandwagon, but events and comments over the last week or so have pushed me straight to said bandwagon.

Today I emailed several people asking if they thought Jesus was a liberal or conservative (or neither - perhaps something else). This came about because of political ads about liberals about politicians I don't even know and more personal comments regarding whether or not I am too liberal.

First let me note that liberal and conservative are relative terms. If I am more traditional than you, you would describe me as a conservative while someone who is even more traditional would describe me as liberal. The division of the world into "liberal" and "conservative" is kind of restrictive. It has to be one way or the other. We define everything as either liberal or conservative even though it is difficult to even define these terms.

On many issues I would probably describe myself as conservative. But I am quite sure I do not want to be lumped in that group if the picture of conservative is Sarah Palin. What a scary thought! So scary that someone today said that they would spend the next several months praying Obama is elected, but if for some reason McCain becomes president, they would have to spend the next 4 years praying for his good health and long life. Perhaps that is why McCain selected Palin - so all of us would be praying that Palin has no opportunity for becoming president.

Please people!!!! I do not believe a mother has to stay home with her children to be a good mother. But I do wonder if she has had time to adjust to life with a special needs child. And I wonder why the same conservative people who have for years said that the problem with society is that moms care more about their careers than staying home to raise their children now think that it is admirable for Palin to work outside the home. I do not fault her for having a unwed pregnant teenage daughter. But I do think she is extremely selfish to throw that daughter under the bus of a media frenzy. Being 17 is tough. Being 17 and pregnant is tougher. Being 17, pregnant and have the whole world watching your every move has got to be hell. You have to think Palin knew that the world would find out and it would be a big story. But the advancement of her political career was more important than her daughter. So is she just so selfish she did not care? Or is she one of those tough love kind of moms? You know - you got yourself into this mess so you will just have to deal with the consequences. Or was she really so naive that she did not think it would be a big deal? Any of these options make for a scary leader of our country.

Scary is seeing the after-convention bump in the McCain/Palin ticket in the polls. Scary is listening to people still justifying this war. Now it is not about weapons of mass destruction. It is not even about oil. It is a religious war. That was not the stated policy when we went to war. But recently I have had people tell me that the war in Iraq is a religious war - because all Muslims want to kill Christians. And Sarah Palin has stated that it is God's war - God's plan. Really? God planned the invasion? It would be nice to think that somebody had a plan, but I think God is smart enough to have a better plan.

So people can think I am too liberal if they want. I would rather be too liberal than some conservative crazy religious right selfish stupid bitch. Perhaps that seems harsh. But I think she has popped up on the scene as a pompous, self-righteous, self-absorbed diva.

Please people. Comment on this? Is the war God's plan? Is Palin an admirable woman or lunatic? I would love to read your thoughts.

Thoughts on Youth Sunday

Today was Youth Sunday at MUMC. And I stepped out and dared to be different and actually had youth participate. I know that is a bit radical. But just call me crazy.

You see, I am learning that the history of youth Sundays at MUMC did not always include youth involvement. But today, youth read Scriptures, introduced greeting time and slide show, prayed, were acolytes and ushers, sang and lead the children's moment.

Our call to worship was "Let's Get it Started," which pretty much set the tone and said that we were going to do things a little differently.

Considering that my sermon was prompted by something disappointing by the youth, I must say they made me quite proud today. They stepped up. They not only participated, but they seemed to enjoy participating. The future is looking good.

thoughts - short and to the point -What ever happened to Common Sense?

I am not sure which is worse, the selfish people mentioned in my last post or the stupid people that prompts today's post. Or maybe it is the combination. Sometimes people seem stupid, but they really are just too selfish and/or lazy to do things intelligently.

The appearance of stupidity and selfishness could be minimized by practicing common sense, courtesy and communication. But I have noticed that people jump into situations without thinking them through; they fail to communicate information to everyone involved; and they fail to use common courtesy in handling their situations. Then when things do not evolve the way they intended, the look stupid.

I have seen a lot of stupid things this week. I am beginning to think common sense is extinct. Or maybe I am just being selfish. I am selfish with my time because stupid people wear me out. They take up my time trying to fix what they screwed up. They waste my time as I try to figure out what they are trying to accomplish.

Just random thoughts quickly jotted. [so Kevin will see that I blog on occasion. :)]

I'm Back

Let me touch base while I have a moment to catch a breath. I do not mean to imply that I am busier than anyone else. In fact, I think our culture encourages us to live life at high speed. But it seems that the last couple of months have been busier than normal for me. Full trial schedule at the law office. Youth week, children's activities, new ministry preparations, meetings, etc. kept things crazy at church. And believe it or not, I do have a life beyond law and church. But a lot of my life outside these areas has been spent treating an injured back. So many activities have been limited.

Then today someone told me to me sure to take time some "me" time - time to relax; time to take care of myself. In the last couple of months, clergy in our conference have suffered three heart attacks and one stroke. Many more clergy are suffering burnout. So despite the fact that my schedule has not really let up, I am taking my "me" time to express some thoughts here. To vent.

I am fed up with selfish people. Now I realize we are selfish by nature. How many children have to be taught to be selfish? We come out of the womb selfish little savages with no thought for anyone but ourselves! We come into the world demanding our way. Feed me! Change me! Pay attention to me! The world revolves around me!

As we get older we learn that obvious acts of selfishness are socially unacceptable. But we are still selfish. We may try to overcome it. We may strive to be more selfless or maybe we just find more subtle ways to be selfish. Or maybe we just become blinded to our selfish acts.

It’s easy to see selfishness in other people, but not always easy to see in ourselves. Part of the problem in seeing it may be that there are different degrees of selfishness. Some people may be blatantly and openly selfish. Often our selfishness is more subtle and more refined.

I recently read an article about the sin of selfishness. It was actually about a sermon on "respectable sins" and how we have come to tolerate the sin of selfishness. This sermon/article talked about areas in which we are selfish - our interests, our money, our time.

A good test of the degree of selfishness in our interests would be to reflect on our conversations and ask ourselves just how much time is spent talking about ourselves and what interests us compared to letting others talk about themselves and what interests them. We all know the person that tells us all about their children/grandchildren or their latest accomplishments or issue.

Although we like to think we are generous, statistic indicate that most of us are kind of stingy with our money. We’d rather keep our money for ourselves. Some studies show that less than four percent of North American Christians tithe. God has given us so much and only asks for 10% in return. Yet, we are lack the faith to do as God asks and give back what is rightfully his and trust that he will provide our needs and more. This can be frustrating when you work in a church. People expect you to have wonderful programming. People want to know what the church is going to do for them. They do not seem to get that their lack of financial giving limits our capabilities for programing and ministry.

We’re all busy and it’s easy to become selfish with our time. In addition to being selfish by guarding our time, we can also be selfish when we impose on someone else’s time. Either way, we’re thinking of ourselves and not the other person. This attitude of "my time is more important than yours" is one that I see often. It ranges from people backing out of commitments at church or to people who make excuses why they can't do something at work. In either case they are both being stingy with their time AND imposing on someone else's time (someone else has to cover their commitment).

These inconsiderate people simply don’t think about the impact of their actions on other people. They see selfishness in others, but miss their own.

Like people in my office that will tell me what a team player they are and how they like to help others whenever possible, but refuse to take calls when a co-worker is out or take their lunch without making sure there is still someone in their department. Or those who think they are kind and considerate people, but say the are too busy to cover an hour answering the phone when the receptionist is out sick. Or those who never consider trial schedules or co-workers schedules when they take flex time or vacation. They never realize that these actions impact others. They never see the selfishness in their actions.

Like people at church who commit to a ministry and then bail out half way through a project. Or those who sign up for an event and then back out when something better comes along. Or those who plan an event or see the need for a ministry, but expect someone else to execute the details. They do not see that they are imposing on someone else's time.

So thanks to those who step up to help. Thanks to those who fulfill their commitments. Thanks to those who take time to consider how their actions affect others. Thanks to those who strive to be selfless, kind and considerate.

Don't Fight Naked (or put on the full armor of God)

This month we are preaching a sermon series from the Ephesians passage of putting on the full armor or God. Our youth week theme of Don't Fight Naked is based on the same Scripture passage. I wrote an article in our newsletter this week that reported that one of my favorite songs based on this Scripture is Hard Fighting Soldiers. This song basically says that 'I am a hard fighting soldier, on the battlefield. I’ve got a helmet on my head, in my hand a sword and shield. I keep on bringin souls to Jesus by the service that I give. You gotta walk right, talk right, sing right, pray right, on the battlefield. I keep on bringin souls to Jesus By the service that I give.' The end of the song moves from I keep on bringin souls to Jesus to we keep bringin souls to Jesus by the service that we give.

One of the most important aspects of being a soldier is working successfully with a team. It tests your skills as an individual and the talents of every soldier around you. In the army, there are many opportunities to receive unit training. Similarly, it is important for the people who make up the body of Christ – the church – to work successfully as a team. It is important to move from I to we. We often find this easier said than done. People seem surprised that people in the church have conflict. They should not be.

From the very beginning of the church there has been conflict, evidenced by the many references in the Bible that we strive for unity. There would not have been need for the many letters encouraging the early Christians to bear one another in love and keep unity if in fact everyone was living in peace. The entire Bible is in some respects a record of conflict--between God and mankind, between all mankind, and between the forces of good and evil.

There is an old adage that where two or more are gathered together there will be conflict. Conflict is a natural part of life. It should be expected when new ideas come into contact with established routines, when modernization bangs into tradition, and when there is fear or misunderstanding.

Most people are aware that conflict can be destructive. Conflict within the church can create dissention within the body of Christ, sap the energy of those involved, divert the focus of ministry, transform longtime friends into adversaries, create a decline in morale and in giving, damage the church’s reputation in the community, negatively impact people’s faith and the way they view church. But conflict can help us stretch and grow and can be positive catalyst for change.

Every church conflict is unique with many contributing factors. Everything that happens in church contributes in some way to its health or dysfunction. Everything is forming people—either to be authentic followers of Jesus, or followers of something or someone else. Constant conflict is often a sign of lack of faith in Jesus. Our focus has been diverted from our faith in Jesus. We are placing our faith in our own agenda. Conflict allows us to see ourselves truthfully and to see the fruit of what we are forming.

Just as the Bible is a record of conflict, it is also a record of forgiveness. The Bible commits us to the message of reconciliation. Conflict allows us to take inventory and determine the path to reconciliation. Reconciliation provides the opportunity for our hard fighting soldiers to find the way to successfully work together as a team that can bring souls to Jesus by the service that we give.

So the challenge is to find a way to work together.

My Respect to Aunt Dot and Uncle Frank

When I got home tonight and listened to the answering machine tonight, I knew something was wrong. My mother's voice: "Donna, this is your mother. Call me as soon as you get home." It sounded serious. I wondered why she did not call me on my cell phone, but noted that at the time of her call I was conducting a premarital counseling class.

When I called my mother back and first heard her voice, I had the feeling she was going to tell me of the death of her best friend from high school with whom she has continued a friendship nearly 70 years. That was my gut feeling from her tone. She recently spoke of the friend's declining health. Instead she told me that a couple with whom my parents have been friends for many years had been in a car accident. I called this couple Aunt Dot and Uncle Frank, but they were not actually blood relatives. Aunt Dot and my father had been friends since childhood. They grew up in the same church. When each of them married, their spouses went to the same church. So my parents and Aunt Dot and Uncle Frank all became close friends. Both couples moved from Woodlawn to the South East Lake / Roebuck area. Aunt Dot and Uncle Frank's daughters were the same ages as my middle siblings. We all went to the same high school. Our families remained close. When our home church closed, we kept in touch, even though we not longer attended the same church. A bonus of the Methodist church being a connectional church is that we could easily keep each with each other at district events or I could ask their pastor about them. Or because it is a small world, a friend at HUMC discovered that his walking buddy at the mall, who attended Trussville UMC had known me all of my life because of West Woodlawn UMC.

Sadly, Aunt Dot some how lost control of the vehicle she was driving yesterday and hit a tree. As a result, both Aunt Dot and Uncle Frank died. Tonight when I was looking at the Bham News blog regarding the accident, I noted bickering breaking out in the comments section. This seemed to arise from some one's comment that if there was a silver lining is was that they went together. I do not take offense to such a comment, but someone did and an argument started. I do not know what all was said because some comments had been removed as offensive by the time I read the blog. But I thought it was very sad that people who did not even know this couple were passionately arguing over whether there was a silver lining in the event.

Here's my take. Two people who had been married for many years, who had two daughters and two grandchildren, who were active in the church, who were hard-working, fine Christian people died at the same time. They lived together. They served together. They died together. It makes it very difficult for their daughters and grandchildren. But as one person commented, the way they died together is like the end of some romantic movie. It is bittersweet.

No mater what your take on this, my Aunt Dot and Uncle Frank deserve more respect than for total strangers to get in a childish name-calling argument on a blog reporting their death.

So here is to two lives well-spent.

Does Anyone Really Understand Marriage

I have recently had two friends whose weddings were called off within two weeks of the scheduled date. Both called off by the groom-to-be. Both men initially said they still loved and wanted to be involved with the bride-to-be; they just did not want to marry them. One wonders why they got engaged in the first place.

I have another friend who does not want to be with their spouse, but they apparently want to stay married to them. They do not want to live in the same household. They dread spending time with their spouse. They resent almost everything their spouse does. But they do not believe it would be right to divorce them.

So some people want to be with someone, even live with someone; they just don't want to be married. Others don't want to spend time or live with a person, but feel they need to stay legally married.

What do these people think marriage is? One definition is a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners. Simplistically, I would ask why would you want to stay married to someone with whom you no longer share a sexual relationship, common interests or even live in the same house? And why would people want to purchase a house together, live as sexual and domestic partners, but deny one partner the marriage contract with which they would feel more comfortable.

I realize that there are some financial or security benefits to staying legally married even if you no longer live together. And I understand that on the other side of the coin some people are just opposed to the legality or formality of marriage. I understand that some people have a true commitment without feeling the need for "a piece of paper."

I know there are some couples who wish they could have that legal option to be with their domestic partner. Interesting that one of the first gay couples to get married in California when it became legal had been committed without the legality for several decades. Interesting that gay couples fight hard for the right to marry their partner.

So what makes a marriage? Is it the commitment that is important? The legal documentation? The wedding ceremony?

I don't have a real point here. Just thoughts that have come to mind while observing recent events. And people wonder why I have never re-married. People have some *%#&$! up ideas about marriage.

And Lead Us Not Into Temptation

Last Sunday I gave Tim the day off for Father's Day. I preached a sermon in a series about the Lord's Prayer. To be honest, this was one of the times I would have to agree with the critics who say I cannot preach. It just didn't seem to flow the way I thought it should. People were complimentary as they left the church. People said they liked the Pinocchio analogy. But I still wondered what I could have done better.

I had a good intro. Chris played the video of a 2-year-old singing The Lord's Prayer that is the popular now. That was the perfect lead in to my opening of: A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end. . . "And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen.” Cute story. But how true that we understand email more than we recognize evil. Today we consider the final petition of the Lord’s Prayer which is two-fold; Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. . .

I got good feedback: Nodding heads when I pointed out that some of us have been reciting the prayer for years, others are just learning it, but what is important is that we learn to live it. Chuckles when a picture of Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket came on the screen as I said this is what came to mind when I thought about examples of temptation. We reviewed the Blue Fairy telling Pinocchio he must learn to choose between right and wrong and how she and Jiminy Cricket told Pinocchio about a conscience and Jiminy warned Pinocchio that the world is full of temptation. Everyone still seemed to be with me when I noted that if a wooden dummy like Pinocchio can learn from his mistakes and listen to a less-than-perfect cricket, surely we can learn the lessons Jesus showed us through his prayer.

But as I moved on to talk about the types of temptations and why we are tempted, I just did not feel like the message was flowing as well as it should for all the time I spent working on this. Was I really being the vessel for God's message? Or was I just babbling Donna crap?

Maybe I was just being overly sensitive because I had read the letters from a couple who said I could not preach. Tim assured me that it was a good sermon, but suggested that maybe it didn't feel the same to me because it was more of a teaching sermon than an inspirational sermon. A very close friend suggested that maybe I felt rushed because recognition of fathers and other parts of worship gave me a late start. But I have to question if it was not because it seems hypocritical to preach on overcoming temptation when, in fact, I often seem to give in to it.

As Christians, we are in a constant fight with the desires of our sinful natures. We constantly need God's guidance to keep our needs and desires in proper balance. I can preach that, but I am not sure I live it. Just the fact that I have gained a stone in the last year should tell you that I have given into temptation. But my lack of willpower with regard to food is not the only area in which I feel I have failed to be the best person I could possibly be.

I struggle every day. Almost everyone does. So here is one point I made Sunday. Jesus' example did not say 'lead ME not into temptation,' but rather 'lead US not into temptation.' I pointed out that Pinocchio had a fairy and a cricket. We have the example of Jesus, the grace of God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit standing ready to help us resist temptation AND we have the support of other Christians. So remember to support your friends. Pray for them. Help them stay on the right path. Because it is hard to resist temptation by yourself.

How Donna Got Her Groove Back

Hello. My name is Donna and I am an addict. I thought I had outgrown my habit and have stayed out of it for a while. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I fell back into it. My addiction? Youth and children's ministries.

Friday night when I found myself sitting in the middle of a parking lot with youth from church, I knew I was back. Not sitting in a car in the parking lot. Sitting on the ground in the middle of the parking lot talking about baptism, confirmation, youth trips, youth fund-raising. It was so natural. It is who I am.

Now, I will admit that I am not entirely sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I really felt like I was back in my groove just being with these youth. One could argue that this is a good thing. I have had gentlemen friends in the past express concern that I spend too much time with youth. And I usually think they just don't understand me at all. But this weekend I realized that I need have to balance things differently for this church gig.

When I did youth work before, it was my main church responsibility. Youth work came before becoming clergy. By the time I was clergy, I had passed the youth torch for the most part. I was still around and actively involved in youth ministry, but someone else was "in charge" of the youth and I was transitioning into the college and young adult program. And as one of several clergy on staff, I did was not in the black robe every weekend.

Now I need to continue my associate pastor responsibilities, oversee children and youth programs, while not neglecting my "real" job in the law office or my personal life. News flash: I have a personal life. And a "real" job. But I find that I get more and more calls and e-mails related to the church when I am at the law office. And at least twice this week, someone special to me has had to wait for me longer than expected while I have been handling church stuff.

Someone once reported that I have a passion for children and youth. At the time I wondered if I really had a passion for young people generally or if the passion was just for a particular group of children and youth to whom I had become close. I guess the answer is that I generally have a passion for youth and children's ministry. I have always said that I have been able to be good at this calling because, being single, I have been readily available to children and youth. Maybe rather than being availalbe because I am single, I am single because I am often willing to be available for the kids.

I am working on getting into my balanced groove because I love doing student ministry, I love most aspects of my "real" job and I love my family and friends who also need my time.

Things are starting to groove as we just completed VBS, we are planning youth week, we created a children's council who met tonight and planned some great summer events. A family weekend is planned. People are on board for working together to carry out student ministry. And the plans are for true worshipful ministries - not just having a youth group or babysitting children.

Yes - exciting things are happening. Come groove with us.

You Can't Preach or Dress

This week has been pretty much a soap opera within our church conference. This is the normal time of year for change, but this year there have been several unexpected last minute changes that have caused much concern. For my friends who have been effected by these changes, I am truly sorry. We all know and accept the system of year to year appointments. We know that there is always a chance we will be moved. But that does not really make it any easier when the move is not your idea. And whether your church eliminates your appointment (basically firing you before they realize what they have done) or the bishop believes your gifts are needed elsewhere (which could be considered a compliment), moving from a church you love is heartbreaking.

I know this firsthand. I had been a member of HUMC for over a decade when I "accepted my calling" and became a Methodist minister. I pursued clergy candidacy with the vision that I could do more with the youth ministry with which I was already actively involved. MY plan was to stay at HUMC and continue working with youth and college age. I would just be better trained to do so. Apparently not everyone agreed with that plan. The powers that be at HUMC moved me more to college and young adults ministries, eventually herding me away from working with the youth. It wasn't long before they decided HUMC did not need a minister devoted to young adults, thus eliminating my appointment. Because an appointment is required for me to keep my pastor's license, I had to take an appointment at another church and move. [note to Kevin - I realize that am too close to be objective, but perhaps the bishop, who is certainly focused on atracting and keeping young adults in the Methodist church, would think a church that would eliminate a young adult minister and drop the youth director from a full-time to part-time position does not particularly care about its future.]

My move last year meant a lot of adjusting. Instead of being one of several clergy on staff, I became the newly added second pastor. I did not realize it when I first arrived, but there was a group within the new church that were opposed to adding this position. Although Moody is a growing community and church attendence has steadily increased over the last several years, there are those who feel an associate pastor is a waste of money. Some are further opposed to the fact that I am female. I understand that there are some that left the church in protest to my appointment. Now I want to point out that the group represents only a small percentage of the congregation. Most of the opposition does not seem particulary personal - it is the position of associate pastor or the general idea of female clergy to which they are opposed. Some people just want to get rid of the entire staff (clergy and laity) and start all over (with puppets, I mean people, the will be able to control).

So in good Methodist tradition, there have been letters to the staff parish relations committee and even to the DS (now former DS) outlining the reasons the clergy need new appointments. The letters last fall really seemed to target the senior pastor, with only passing, general comments about the unnecessary associate pastor they felt they could not afford. Meetings with SPRC and the DS failed to get the results this small group desired. You can imagine their dismay when the senior pastor and associate pastor were to be re-appointed to MUMC for another year. So they wrote more letters. They did not really have anything new about which they could complain. No new evidence to substantiate their claim that their clergy needed to be moved. So they resorted to mean-spirited, playground name-calling type tactics. I found it ironic that the letters that reported that the senior pastor could not speak well were laden with grammatical errors. These people criticized the senior pastor on all kinds of letters. Despite the vows members take to support the church with their presence, prayers, gifts and service, these members threatened to withhold these until such time a new pastor is appointed.

But enough about all the mean things they said about him. After all this blog is about me. I can deal with the generic "we don't need an associate pastor" letters. The "exactly what does she do to earn her pay? how many hours does she work?" letter make me chuckle. However, there was one letter that included personal attacks. While I admit the comments bothered me, they truly pissed off some people who love me. According to one couple at MUMC, they do not need me. I cannot preach. According to some people who know me, I came out of the choir at my old church. (OK - if any of you know what that is supposed to mean, please let me know.) And my attire is not appropriate for the pulpit. I would like to point out here that I wear a black robe in the pulpit. Perhaps my robe is too sexy because I selected the robe specifically cut for the female body. It does have a nice velvet trim. I normally wear black or grey clothes under the robe. I always wear black shoes with my robe. I would love to ask them what they want me to wear if a black clergy robe is not appropriate in their eyes.

I realize the "she can't preach" comment should rate a much bigger response from me than the inappropriate dress comment. Let me say that is does hurt my feelings ,but I cannot defend my preaching as well as I can my robe. I am fairly inexperienced at delivering a sermon. I know I have room for improvement. But I also know that of the handful of sermons I have delivered in the past year, they have been noticably absent for most of them. I am not sure they can accurately judge what they have not heard. So while their opinion that I cannot preach really drew responses from other people, I will just accept it as a challenge to continue to improve.

I am reminded that these people did not call me to be their pastor, God did. While my plan was to become a minister to continue my work with youth at HUMC, and I suspect that someone manipulated the system to have me moved in order to carry out their personal plan, I can see now how all of this worked in God's plan. Since arriving at MUMC, there have been several changes in the staff. At a recent SPRC meeting, someone commented that God sent me to MUMC almost a year ago so that I would be in place when the need arose for someone with experience with youth and children's ministry. God prepared us all for a time such as this. God provided for a smooth transition and the youth and children did not lack leadership when the director of student mininstries resigned. It is no accident that God put together the current diverse staff that could work together to lead worship Sunday morning when the senior pastor was rushed to ER and admitted to hospital on a Saturday night. God sent me to MUMC, so I will try to do things the way he leads me and try to ignore those who don't like my gender, my preaching style, my black-robed attire or the fact that I once sang in a choir.

THANK GOD FOR MY "NORMAL" MOTHER

As I grew up, I assumed my family was normal. My parents are married to each other. All of my siblings are my whole siblings - no halfs or steps. We had a very stable life. We all grew up in the same house, attended the same school and the same church all of our childhood. But as I grew older, I realized that all of this was not really the norm. The stability my parents provided is more rare than I realized. Death, divorce, drugs, alcohol, abuse disrupted the childhoods of many of my friends.

Yesterday we celebrated Mother's Day. A beautiful day to visit my parents at the lake. My day started out kind of rough. I have a great mother. My daughter - not so great. So instead of having help getting everything ready for the day, I was trying to get stuff ready for church and load everything so I could go straight to the lake after church.

I did not attend church on Mother's Day until I started working at a church. In my childhood and early adult life, we usually spent Mother's Day (and Father's Day) at the lake. My parents did not like the way churches handle the honoring of parents on these special days. Although it is great to honor the oldest, youngest and most fertile parents, these days can be difficult for women whose desire to have children has never been fulfilled or who have lost a child. It is also hard on those who have lost their mother. For months I have made my concern about how we honor mothers heard at every possible opportunity, so Tim decided that I could be the one who honored the mothers in the service.

My prayer gave thanks for the women who made sacrifices to raise children. It also acknowledged that not all situations are perfect. Mothers stuggle. Not all mothers wanted their children. Not all women make good mothers. Some women care for other peoples children. We prayed for those who lost children, whose children have moved away, those who have lost mothers.

During Children's Moment we took time to honor the women who have nurtured our children. Many people consider Mother's Day a holiday created by greeting card companies or florists, so you may wonder why we make such a big deal at church. Actually the origins of this day are within the church. Some cultures celebrate Mother's day during Lent or 9 months before Christmas, both started in honor of Mary, Mother of Jesus. Some trace the history of the day back to the practice of honoring the Mother Church - kind of like homecoming. When you return to your Mother
church, you are often also visiting your parents. At one time Mother's Day was celebrated in June as Mother's for Peace Day. It was actually a call for mothers to encourage peace and reconciliation. Later, the push for a day set aside to honor mothers was started when there was a realization that children often fail to truly show reverence to their mothers until they have regrets after their mother's passing. But even the founders of mother's day later regretted how commercialized it became. The original intent was exactly what we try to do in church - set aside time to remind ourselves that we are commanded to honor our father and mother. We are to do this every day, but Sunday we set aside a time to be specific in honoring mothers.

What is a mother? The dictionary tells us that a Mother is a Female parent; Woman acting as parent; Originator; Protector or to mother is to take care of something with tenderness; give birth; bring something about. Yesterday we honored those women who are parents. We honored both the women who bore us and the women who bear with us.

While I tried to be very sensitve to all of the many situations present in the congregation, I must admit that I wanted to just say that I am very thankful my sweet little mother.

Together we can accomplish amazing things

I have given a lot of thought this week to the idea of true teamwork. In a discussion of the gifts of the Spirit, an insightful friend drew an interesting analogy. She referenced this week’s "Dancing with the Stars" where Cristian de la Fuente performed with a very serious injury to his left arm [which needs surgery]. Despite the injury, he was able to do lifts in both dances he performed. The 2nd was at the end of the dance & she reported that it was spectacular ending with his partner, Cheryl Burke, upside down over his right arm. My friend pointed out that the key is the fact that Cristian didn't do the lift. He was merely the platform for her; his "gift" was his strength & steadiness that allowed her to use her gifting for dance perform the maneuver. Those who have a lot of dance or cheerleading or gymnastic experience will recognize what she did. My friend’s point is that, even though he had that injury that should have kept them from performing, together they used their gifts to accomplish an amazing thing. She then asked: Wouldn't it be wonderful if we in the Church could do the same?

Tonight I read Kevin’s blog from earlier this week wherein he summarized his past Sunday – the day his youngest daughter Caroline was baptized. I was privileged enough to be able to participate in the service by laying hands with the three other pastors and anointing her with oil after the baptism. As part of the service I, along with the entire congregation, vowed to nurture one another in the Christian faith and life and include Caroline in our care, and surround her with a community of love and forgiveness. As members of the household of God, Caroline was entrusted to our love and care. We were instructed to do all in our power to increase her faith, confirm her hope and perfect her in love. And together we welcomed her in Christian love, renewed our covenant to participate faithfully in the ministries of the Church by our prayers, our presence, our gifts, and our service. Kevin commented that there should be some way to hold us accountable for these promises.

See paragraph one. If we all used our gifts together, what amazing things could be accomplished? If we step in to help out when another of us cannot perform at our peak, what spectacular things can be done?

During a LEGS [Let’s Enjoy God’s Spirit] discussion at church last night, one parent requested that when we see one of her sons misbehaving, that we step in and handle the situation. We discussed that sometimes parents are blinded to their children’s faults or are in denial about their behavior. (This is where Alicia would say that I do not suffer from this, as she thinks I always assume she is going to screw up.) We pointed out that often people don’t want to interfere, but that it is our responsibility to help nurture the children and youth of our church.

We are currently in a state of transition at our church. Our director of student ministries (children and youth) recently resigned. My background is in children and youth ministries, so I have been involved in programming the last few weeks. We are in the process of developing children and youth councils – groups of adults that can help plan, teach – nurture and love. Even before the departure of the director, we have been reminding the congregation that we all are needed to help raise these children. Tim has asked “Who will come forward and _____ for this child?” That blank could be pray, teach, keep nursery, volunteer at events. And now several people are stepping forward to make sure these children and youth do not fall through the cracks.

Thanks Kevin for reminding me that parents rely on the vows we make to their child. It takes a little teamwork to help guide these children on their spiritual journey. It takes being there when the parents are tired or distracted or just need an extra hand. We are to steer their children in the right direction, challenge them, nurture them and love them, support them. Do not let them down. Together, we can help these children accomplish amazing things.

Nobody likes a lawyer til they need one

For some friends who were in on an email conversation today, part of this will be a repeat. Forgive me. For years I have tried to be polite when people go off on their rants about the evils of lawsuits in America. I understand the frustrations of watching greedy people file silly lawsuits. I admit that there are greedy people and unscrupulous attorneys who will file stupid lawsuits. But those crazy suits are not the norm. In fact, that is why they make the news. But because crazy suits are filed or facts of suits are twisted in reports, people are ready to jump on the "Tort Reform" wagon.

Today a friend sent a link to a report that prompted my little rant. It was from one of the several organizations that promote tort reform. Over the years, such organizations have invested a lot of money and done a great job of convincing the public that we are a lawsuit happy nation in need of reform. They consider the money invested in promoting such reform as just another business expense. They promote public fear and panic by focusing on the most outrageous suits filed or spinning the facts of cases to convince the public that crazy cases are the norm. While they claim to promote judicial efficiency, legal ethics, or some other public purpose, their actual goal is to protect corporations from the consequences of their wrongdoing by limiting the access of ordinary citizens to be compensated by harms done to them by corporations through defective products and/or harmful services. Most tort reform organizations are funded directly and indirectly by large insurance companies and multi-national corporations who desire to make a profit, not protect the rights of individuals.

A core principle of our system of justice is the fact that those who have suffered harm from somebody else's carelessness or bad actions have remedy through the courts. The jury system allows for ordinary people to judge the facts in a dispute between an injured party and the alleged wrongdoer. The goal is to have impartial people hear the case. The goal of tort reform is to take this decision making process away from ordinary folks and give that power to the elite - legislators or corporate board members.

Have they convinced you that lawsuits are on the rise? Would it surprise you to know that the number of jury verdicts rendered last year in Alabama were the lowest in the past five years? Have they convinced you that too many people are getting rich from our system of "jackpot justice?" Would it surprise you to know that a plaintiff has a less than 50% chance of winning a case at trial? Last year in Alabama plaintiff prevailed in about 50% of the car wreck and premises liability (slip & fall) cases. The odds decrease in other types of cases. Plaintiffs won only 16% of medical negligence cases tried in Alabama last year.

Cases become more and more expensive to pursue, less likely to settle out-of-court and harder to win at trial. Tort reform has influenced jury pools. Many potential jurors walk in feeling like the plaintiff is just trying to get rich. Then in opening arguments the defense attorney is going to say that all the money in the world won't bring back [mother/daddy/spouse/child] that died as a result of [whatever wrongdoing is alleged]. This is true. The money will not bring back the loved one. But if loved one was the family breadwinner, the money may help compensate for that loss of income. Or the money the defendant (or their insurer) has to pay might make them be a little more careful next time.

I have learned that people think we are an over-litigious society until something happens to them. Then they cannot understand why they cannot find a lawyer to take their “great case” because reputable firms turn down over 90% of the potential cases in an effort to avoid “frivolous” lawsuits.

As I said in the beginning, I know there are stupid lawsuits filed. There are plenty of greedy people looking for jackpot justice and just as many greedy lawyers who will file an unfounded lawsuit trying to get some cash. However, if you follow these closely, most of these will not make it trial. Filing a silly case gets lots of media attention, but the dismissal doesn't get the same headline attention that the initial lawsuit brings. It is unfair that people have to hire lawyers to defend these stupid suits. It is also unfair that these bad experiences, coupled with “tort reform” propaganda have made it difficult for people with meritorious cases to be compensated. Lawsuits filed by individuals have continually declined over the last 10-15 years. Some statistics indicate a 21% decline. (Compared to contract disputes in business vs. business suits, which are up about 25% by some reports.)

Just remember that many improvements to products and safety standards were brought about by lawsuits. Changes in the way some companies conduct business were brought about by lawsuits. Improvements in equipment and training to properly use equipment have been brought about by lawsuits.

In Search of Healing

Worship today was a service of healing and prayer. When this special service was announced, I believe some people had visions of hands on the forehead as we called the evil spirits out. I think there were people who said "we don't believe in that kind of thing." Some would be surprised that this service is straight from our book of worship.

That might explain why attendance seemed a little low today. And maybe that is why someone asked what we would do if no one came down for anointing. But reflecting on the faith of those who came to Jesus for healing and remembering the history of our tradition of healing service, many people came forward. People who needed healing for themselves. People who stood in the place for others who could not be there. People asked for physical healing, for emotional healing, for repair for broken relationships, for strength during time of loss.

Over half of the church came to the alter to pray with and support each other. Holding hands, hugging. This is what church should be. As people left the sanctuary, many commented on how special the service was.

Now I should point out that healing does not mean curing. The prayers and laying of hands does not replace the gifts God has provided through medical care providers. But such a service does provide a means to open ourselves to the healing presence of God.

After the service, I met a friend for lunch. As we talked about concerns of loved ones, I realized how many people are in search of healing. I also realized that there are many that do not even know how to search for a means of healing. So many are not ready to seek help or even realize they need help.

So may there be comfort for those who opened themselves to the love and support of family and friends and the healing presence of God. And may those who think that such a service is something like fake wrestling be open to ancient, holy service. And may the prayers of others help those who do not even know how to search for healing.

Easter Miracles.

I have now had a week to step away from the busyness of Holy Week and school prep. Several friends asked how some of the special worship events went. I was very pleased with how well things turned out. Despite many obstacles and setbacks, both the Good Friday passion mime and the Easter morning Arise My Love came together wonderfully. The cast and crew all did well. The congregation found them to be very meaningful. All of this was a surprise to several people. We never had the entire cast at a rehearsal until just a few days before the event. Scheduling conflicts and illnesses caused us to change tech crew several times, even up to the night of the worship. But everything came together.

Another Easter miracle was that I actually got up and made it to the sunrise service (to freeze my butt off). Anyone who knows me will realize that this was a major feat. I am not a morning person.

A nice Easter miracle was that all of my siblings were at my parents' house for lunch and everything was pleasant. Now this is not entirely unusual. That used to always be the case. But in the past few years some tension had developed and family drama emerged. There have been some changes and things may be back to normal. We all were together at Christmas and it was peaceful. But last week when we had Easter lunch, it was actually like old times. Perhaps some of my family relations have been through their time and crucifixion and are entering into resurrection.

I have a close friend who is currently going through a stressful and difficult time. He feels beaten down by family drama. I hope by knowing that my daughter and brother have been friendly to each other to the point that Alicia said John is like a different person, my friend can hold on to some hope for another Easter miracle. Remember that you must go through the crucifixion to get to resurrection. Things may seem dark now, but think how much brighter the light seems when you go through the darkness. Do not give up hope.

Parrhesia

This is my word of the week. To speak the truth in power. To speak candidly, boldly or to ask forgiveness for so speaking. A word of Greek origin meaning literally "to speak everything." Most commonly understood to speak freely or boldly without selfish concern. It implies not only freedom of speech, but the obligation to speak the truth for the common good, even at personal risk.

We all know that it is better to speak the truth than to speak an untruth. But we often fail our obligation to be truthful remaining silent. How often do we fail to speak out about a situation -perhaps due to fear or laziness or both? We pretend we do not see an injustice. We do not want to get involved. We do not want to offend anyone.

I realize that some people will read this and be thinking of the other extreme. We all know people who think they have to state their opinion on every issue. They are constantly stirring up trouble by getting involved in things that are none of their business. I know there are names rolling through your mind right now. And I agree that sometimes keeping your mouth shut is the best option.

But I am just challenging you now to think about times you should step up and speak the truth for the common good. Speak up to stop hurtful rumors. Speak up to protect someone. Speak up when an intervention is needed. Speak up to encourage someone. Don't remain silent when you have the chance to give power by speaking the truth.

busy week

what a crazy week. here we are in holy week. but as we travel from palm sunday to easter, we go through st. patrick's day and march madness.

it seems somehow appropriate that this week barrack obama challenges us to face race relations. we are challenged to treat our neighbors as we want to be treated

wouldn't it be nice if all god's children really could embrace unity through diversity?

so as we move from the triumphant entry of palm sunday, past green parades and green beer of st. patrick's day, through crazy instructors who assign papers due during holy week, around selecting brackets, let's accept the challenge to keep the golden rule as we celebrate the resurrection.

Is commitment a dirty word?

Do you find that people are just not committed? Is loyalty old-fashioned?

I have worked for the same firm for almost 20 years. I understand that this is rare in a law firm. Most people - attorneys and support staff - move around every few years looking for a better deal. In recent years loyalty to any employer is rare. The days of staying with a company for 30 years, then retiring with your gold watch are gone.

I have been Methodist all of my life. (I admit that I have not been at the same Methodist congregation all of my life. Most recently this is because, as a pastor, I am appointed one year at a time and subject to being moved.) But apparently denominational loyalty is as rare as a person staying with the same employer. A recent survey found that nearly half of American adults had left the faith tradition of their upbringing to either switch allegiances or abandon religious affiliation altogether. More than one-quarter of American adults have left the faith of their childhood for another religion or no religion at all, the survey found. Factoring in moves from one Protestant denomination to another, the number rises to 44 percent. One in four adults ages 18 to 29 claim no affiliation with a religious institution.

And I find more and more that even people who claim to be faithful to a specific congregation in a specific denomination, they cannot commit to ministries. Someone recently complained that only a handful of people actually do things in the church. I pointed out that this is the case in any organization the old 20/80 formula - 20% of the people do 80% of the work in any group. (and I think that is being generous.) I notice that even that small percent that do the work cannot commit to things on a regular basis. I have yet to get an entire cast to attend rehearsal for an upcoming drama. Attendance in study groups or discussion groups is sporadic. This is partially because people may be over committed. That is "committed" to too many things so that they cannot be truly committed to any of their commitments.

I am guilty myself. I am in two bunko groups. While I make it to most of the gatherings in my first group, I find that I miss almost every other month in the other. This is because I have too many things going on.

And I am just getting to the area where there are real commitment issues: relationships. Again, I am not just pointing fingers here. I am guilty myself. Long-term committed relationships are not my specialty. But even someone like me cannot help but feel bad when I see all of the divorces and failed relationships around me. A most recent example would be that Alicia was to be in a wedding this month, but the groom called off the wedding. I guess it is better to realize before the wedding than to wait and get a divorce. But I cannot help but think of all the money wasted or lost by calling off a wedding within two weeks of the scheduled ceremony.

All of this - changing jobs, changing church affiliation, changing partners seems to be in keeping with what a recent article described as the high tolerance among Americans for change. The article noted that we have a very fluid society - people move a lot, people change jobs a lot.

I don't know that I have a real point. It is just an observation.

Where's the flame?

If you were to read the Moody UMC newsletter this week, you would see an article about fanning the flames. Earlier this week, the author of that article shared his planned topic. We discussed his impression that some people wonder if the flame of the Holy Spirit is burning as brightly as it should. He shared that was reminded of what Paul tells Timothy when he says, “I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of My hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 2:6-7).

Our conversation noted that the flames of the church depend on the people fanning its flames by praying for the different ministries of the church, by participating in the ministries, by giving to the ministry budget of the church, and by giving ourselves in service to the church. Rather than complaining when it seems like the flame is not as bright or passion is lacking, we need to look at what we are personally doing to keep the flames blazing.

The next morning when I was driving to work and saw the Eternal Flame of Freedom monument on the corner of 20th Street and Park Place North on the edge of Linn Park, I immediately called to point out how this fit our discussion. What does it say when the eternal flame is out of order? Doesn't eternal mean everlasting, never-ending? Doesn't it mean that the flame will never burn out? But the monument sits flameless with an "out of order" sign.

Why? I have heard or read several explanations. One is that someone keeps stealing the gas canister. That made me think that we often let others steal our flame. We listen to negative ideas. We let others distract us from the source of our flame. Although stealing the gas canister makes for a good analogy, I am not sure that explanation is correct. Alagasco supplies a gas feed to the monument. I have always understood that to be an in-ground line of natural gas - not propane tank.

Another explanation is that a faulty part needs to be replaced and there is a dispute about who is supposed to order the part and who is responsible for making the repairs. Apparently Jefferson County says it is the City of Birmingham's responsibility and the city points to the county for maintenance of the monument. A veteran's group is reported to have agreed to replace the faulty part. This reminds me that we often look to someone else to maintain or restore the flame, instead of stepping up and taking some responsibility.

But while I sit here and think of how the lack of flame on the monument of eternal flame was a great way to start an article encouraging people to fan the flame, I think how sad it is that I pass that flame at least twice a day and I cannot tell you when the flame went out. I have read that the flame has been extinguished "for years" or that it was flameless four years ago. But I think I have seen a flame more recently than that. I've read about a marine who sat vigil protesting the lack of flame. How did I miss that? Now, I do recall seeing someone sitting out there within the past several weeks and seeing news crews, but I did not really know what was going on. I have seen repair crews out by the flame. I even saw a flame there this week, but it has since been extinguished and the "out of order" sign is still there.

So a news story has been going on right under my nose - or 11 floors below my office - and I have overlooked it. Perhaps that is how the flame of passion goes out. We are too busy to notice if it is burning or not until it is completely out and it becomes a news item. Whether it is the flame of passion for our church or whether it is the passion of a relationship, we must be deliberate in fanning the flame. If we become too busy to pay attention, we will lose touch with friends; we will lose the excitement of our participation in church; we will shut down our communication with those we love; we will drift away from our partner; our passion will be lost.

Where is the flame? And whose fault is it if it goes out? The flame is ours to keep.