Happy ? Valentine's Day

Since I am really big on the idea of showing love - that Jesus had such an emphasis on love - you would think a holiday devoted to love would be a favorite of mine. But you would be wrong. Valentine's Day is one of my least favorite days. If you are in a relationship, there is such pressure for you to make this day special. If you are not in a relationship, this day just emphasises that fact. In reality, I think you should show your love for others every day. There should not need to be a day to express love.

While this has never been one of my favorite days, it now has taken on a sadness. Last year Alicia and I spent Valentine's Day in the hospice unit of UAB with our dear Paul. By the time we arrived on the evening of 02.14.07, he had already slipped out of consiousness. Family and friends had gathered around his bed. At one point, when we were standing right next to the bed, Alicia was telling Marie that Paul had been the closest thing to a step-father that she had ever had. We met and became friends when she was just about six. We started dating when she was in the second grade. At first we only went out occasionally, but by the time Alicia was ten, we were dating somewhat seriously (as seriously has I am probably capable) and he was a constant presence and influence in her life. She was commenting along those lines when Marie noticed Paul raising his eyebrow. She pointed this out to Alicia and told us she felt like he could hear us. I would like to think he knew we were there. On the day set aside to remind people that you love them, I hope he felt our love. I hope he knew how special he was (and is) to us.

But last Valentine's Day was the last time we saw Paul alive. He never regained consiousness. Glioblastoma had knocked him down. Infection that set in after his immune system was compromised by radiation and chemo was what actually caused his death on 02.16.07.

So today when everyone is wishing each other to have a happy day, I have had a hard time being happy. Don't get me wrong, I know I have a lot of happy things in my life. I am thankful for the many good things in my life. But just for the next couple of days, I think I will be sad. Because on this day of love, I am going to remember one of the loves of my life. And although I know he no longer has to suffer with a body that betrayed him, I miss him. So if I toast with a glass of wine tonight, I will say a toast to the life of Paul and say a prayer for his family.

Tell someone you love them today (and every day).